BEFREIUNGSSCHLÄGE

Wieder so eine Stunde
In der es gilt, alles zu verlieren
Um frei zu sein, darf nicht zurück schlagen.

Alles verzeihen, allen verzeihen
Jeden Schmerz als Befreiungsschlag hinnehmen –
Wenn Ihr nur mein Schweigen
Richtig deuten würdet.

Wieder so eine Stunde
In der jeder Schmerz mich an den Augenblick
Erinnert, als ich ihn einem anderen einst
Zufügte. Und du, mein Peiniger, hast keine
Ahnung, was du dir gerade angetan hast.

Einst wirst auch du um Verzeihung bitten
Und dir selber aber nicht verzeihen können.

Das wird die Stunde deines Schweigens sein.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

RETIREMENT

His pride is on sale
And his shame
And on his broad frame
You can see him bearing his fate
With a brave face on display

Seventy years of age
All his fears have come of age
His hopes, dreams, plans, crumbled
But now he’s picked himself up again
And sits at the south train station

Easel, paint-brushes, stool, low table
But he holds his head up high
Give him a smile and a coin
And he’ll paint a portrait of you
That will stand the test of time

He: You speak good german
I: Can I write something about you?
He: Yes, but no names please. I
Have a granddaughter in Darmstadt, who
Doesn’t know what I do to survive.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

LIGHT AND DARK

Don’t ask me why I did it
You won’t get any answer
That makes any sense to you
I did it ‘cause I’m a dancer

Don’t ask me what kind of music
Plays underneath my propensities
The same hand fingering fine violins
Also thumbs the base of depravities

Don’t ask me how I can bear it
To be sometimes day, sometimes night
It is the fault of the sun
Who keeps me spinning around

Now I love being spun around
Locked in a battle that can’t be won
And can’t be lost, I love the light
Sometimes, and sometimes I fear it.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

SUN

Today I looked again
Through the rain and saw
The sun, but the sun wept
And it was the rain
Again

So I let the sun wet me
And every love that met me
Will never again forget me
The source of your flowing pain
Your sun, your happiness
And your rain.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

LOOK AGAIN

And then you will see
That blind people see
The things that are invisible
To you and to me

And then you will hear
What the deaf loudly hear
When silence is all
That you and I hear

And then you will understand
That children understand
To store deep in their memory
Things they don’t yet understand

When a moment full of pain
Opens up your heart again
And you learn to look again
And see again, and hear again.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

ON MY FUNERAL DAY

THE MOURNERS came, with lots of noise and tears, crying their dry eyes out. No one stopped them. They were left to wail and weep, even though they made all that din.

And the merry-makers, theirs was even more dramatic, their lives are simple, they simply make merry. It does not matter the occasion which has brought them together. Their occupation is to sing and be happy, that is their job, their life. In large numbers they came out to lighten up the place, all three categories of them – the clowns, the eaters and the musicians – merrymaking from dawn until everyone else is gone.

And then of course my old friends, drawn out of the distant mists of childhood, reappeared with appropriately long faces. They murmured here and there about a few breaches of tradition but generally they held their peace. Rice and stew were very plenty, palm wine flowed as if the very trees wept, drowning their complaints in their throats; they left everybody alone and except for their ponderous thoughts nobody remembered their presence.

Two T.V. reporters with their camera men, a few newspaper journalists, a couple of ministers and princes, a former president, a galaxy of celebrities, a throng of socialites and a pride of leaders. Soon the whole place was turned from a place of solemn silence to something like the setting for a television talk-show. Who was going to be interviewed? The departed spirit? I chuckled; good that no-one heard me.

The few people who knew me well wondered at all the noise, all the crowd. Could I, who had so dearly nourished simplicity and quiet while still alive, have really wished my departure to trigger this breach of it? They tried to voice their discontent, but my relatives silenced them with the counter-claim that I had always said that everyone was allowed to do as they wished, and so they did not feel it right to disobey my injunction upon my departure.

Clergy of different religions dragged the aura of their history into my home and solemnly spewed prayers into the air, while everyone closed their eyes and kept on chewing their food. And the liars. They were everywhere, telling lies. The gamblers were gambling. The drunkards were drinking. And the lies the liars told were shattering to the core, for the liars had once been my friends.

But, with love, with compassion, my eyes did rest on one or two visitors in whose heart I saw pain at my departure, in whose eyes I saw the glittering pearls of true tears ever and again wiped away with a sigh. I was sad for them, I wished they could feel the touch of my hand on their shoulder, hear my voice as I whispered to them, I’m still alive.

But what can you do? Each person will react in his own wto death, the victor. Each, according to his or her nature, will bring their character to the fore upon your departure and, symphony or cacophony, there is nothing you can do about it, not anymore.

And so I did not stay there long. I had known it would be like this – who doesn’t? And I had made her promise, she who I loved, who I love, promise me, yes I had made her promise me that she would take my body away, far away. And far away, in the heart of the beautiful woods, she and the children we bore, now adults, and our closest closest friends, they stood in a circle around my body. And though they did not see me, they sensed me, sensed that I was there, standing too in the circle with them, our unbroken circle of love. Far away from the noise and noisy thoughts of the world.

One of them played a flute, and the flute was enough, and spoke the language of our hearts; and every thought they thought of me was a thought of love, and my soul was full. And my spirit sang.

And soon the body, old and tired, rested deep in the cool depth of mother earth. There was a prayer my love was praying, and that was when I heard it, the other flute, the heavenly flute, it came from far away, from high high above, gripped my heart, and I saw the way home. At that moment her eyes opened and her love held me one more time, then with a gentle whimsical sigh she let me go.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.y

DICHTERNEBEL

Ich bin nur ein Dichter
Meine Worte gehen auf Reise
Ziehen sich aus
Wie ausziehbare Fernrohre
Ziehen sich in die Länge
Lassen auf Ferne zurück blicken
Alles wirkt nah, greifbar
Doch streckst Du die Hände danach aus
Begreifst Du
Daß das die Art der Dichtung ist
Dinge nah zu bringen und dennoch
Fern zu halten.

Mehr als ich Prosa lese und liebe
Verschlinge ich unersättlich Gedichte
Gnadenlos wie Messer
Stechen sie tief ein
Scheu wie Rehe
Lassen sie sich nicht
Fassen.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

RUNNING WATERS

The story you told in the west
Is not identical
With the laughter you laughed in the north
Nor with the song you sang in the south
Nor with the thoughts you expressed in the east…

The language you spoke on the mountain
Is very different
From the tongue you mouthed in the valley
And from the violins you bowed through the woods
And the ballad you composed upon the blue-green meadows…

The roar you let out as you charged past us
Has a different meaning
From the groan the desert drew out of you;
And the whisper which you sighed in this grateful heart
Is not the same cry with which you flow into the sea.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

CLOSED CYCLES

You start. I’m scared, my friend,
Of finding the floor with my feet first
They might lead me astray

Doubleback. The start is the end
Why quench your longing with a thirst
That might never go away?

It’s hard to move
When you move together
One has to receive, and one has to give
Together in opposite directions

Well I can’t prove
If we do or don’t belong together
But cycles close, something had to give
And unmasked all our pretensions.

Missed opportunities
Mixed opportunities.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

MEHR

Tragweite deiner Entscheidung, deiner Sehnsucht
Dieses Sehnen, geht es um Sehn oder um Suchn?

Wie weit tragen sie die Flügel eines Schmetterlings?
Unvergleichbar den Schwingen des Adlers
Dennoch be-trügen sie mich weiter

Alles Starke, was ich an mir trug
Jegliche Weitsicht, und stolze Männlichkeit
Zart spielerisch machte sie alles zu Nichte

Dann trug sie mich weiter, und ich sah, ohne Worte
Was sie mir die ganze Zeit nicht sagen konnte
Nicht mal mit ihren zartesten Zeilen

Unberührt ist auch berührt.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.