PIECES OF GROWTH

Time comes in pieces -
Pieces of days
Pieces of nights
Pieces of weeks, of months, of years

Eternity does not come all at once
Or we would not enjoy it

It comes in pieces of seconds
Of minutes
Of hours

Eternity comes in pieces of moments
Moments of depth and pain
Moments of joy and experiencing
Of learning and growing and gain.

- Che Chidi Chukwumerije

REFLECT BEFORE CELEBRATE

Why was I born? Why were you born?
Into this Earth.

My birthday always makes me think. This year more than ever, I don‘t know why. The questioning thought: Everything I‘ve done in the last 48yrs, have they in any way really fulfilled the reason WHY I WAS BORN? Or have I up until now, in a deep subtle way, just been wasting my time? For I was not born in order to celebrate that birth annually. Viewed logically, that‘s a senseless feedback loop – unless augmented, nay, superseded, by a PURPOSE – and the fulfilment of that purpose – of my birth into this earth.

49 years ago, I was not here. I was not a part of this daily hustle and bustle, getting into cars and busses, voting in elections, raising kids, being earthy and doing the earthly. So, where was I? And why did I come here? Where were you before you were born? And why did you come here?

Every year the certainty that I‘m closer to my earthly death, to my departure. I just feel it, so strongly. That reduced distance. It‘s not just a piece of general knowledge that we all have: Everybody dies one day. Yes we all know this. But it is more than this. It‘s also a solid emotional perception, a physical presence that comes closer, that you can feel when you close your eyes and pay attention.

My birthday makes me think, not just of birth, but also of death.

My brother, Kwame, aged 19, died on my 21st birthday. It was a few weeks before his own 20th birthday. The person closest to me. Why did he come? Did he or did he not fulfil the purpose of it? And then he was gone again. It‘s a date we share, in life and death.

Life existed before we were born into it. It was perfect, already. Before we were created, Creation was already formed and perfect. This realisation makes me think and there is no end to this reflection. Just a clear line of perception – an intuitive perception:

You are not without a reason and not without a purpose, unless you fail – consciously or unconsciously – to discover that reason and that purpose; and then to – deliberately or instinctively – fulfil that reason and that purpose.

It‘s a serious and thought-provoking business meeting your birthday again, and still not knowing why. Or knowing if you’re fulfilling why, as best as you can. Year after year.

I don‘t need to celebrate my birthday. I need to reflect upon it.

Reflect before celebrate.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
06. April 2022

Little Che – mid 1970s.

BOYS TO MEN

The older I get,
The more I miss my father.
The more knowing I grow,
The more I miss him.
The more I know him.
The more I understand him.
We live life forwards,
But understand life backwards.
When it‘s too late to change anything,
That’s when we understand everything.
The young shall grow.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije
(I just feel like remembering today)

THE MISSES I’LL REGRET

Very soon I might have to drop
Half of the things I’m into
In order to find enough time
To do the things I really mean to

The years fly past on fast forward
And everyday I feed the beasts that are eating me
Sometimes I need to stop, check and be sure
If it’s angels or demons that are leading me

Politics and society, belief, love and money
The five names of the very same monster
How long can Reincarnation remain on Auto-repeat
Futilely yelling I came, I saw, I conquered?

So give me that filter, I’ll separate
The misses I’ll regret from all the rest
Even as I wonder if it’s already too late
Before Death comes to pass the test.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

ETERNAL SUNRISE

When the Darkness wakes up in the morning, the first thing it does is to look out of the window, see the Light shinning outside – and become full of anger, envy and rage all over again. 

Because yesterday when night fell and it went to sleep, it made the great mistake of thinking that the Light is now dead.

The Light is never dead. It will rise again. It is we who turn our backs on it.

But it will rise again.

 – Che Chidi Chukwumerije