USE IT

Anything you do not use, goes away from you. Memory. Your mind. A relationship. A skill. A language. Your spirit-life. Your destiny.
And all that will be left is just an empty moving shell.

To get the best out of any tool – use it.
Anything you want to keep – use it.
Anything you want to grow – use it.
The more you use it, the less you lose it.

Don’t be shy. Grasp it firmly and use it resolutely. Keep on using it until it becomes a part of you and the best it can be. The things that have value to you, give them a function in your life – a sense of worth and a reason to stay. Let your attention and effort follow the path of your love. And if you love a language, use it to say everything you want to say, especially the important things, the difficult things. Just try it. Start little by little, in private spaces. After a while, it will start flowing, start growing, start glowing. If you use it, you won’t lose it. And when it grows, you grow too; for it is a living thing and has its origin in an invisible place, far away in the land of eternal activity. That’s why you have to use it, in order not to lose it. Practice makes perfect.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

FACING THE MUSIC EVERYDAY

Everything is an opportunity – and even an obligation – to practice the virtues, or attempt the resistance of the vices, and to reflect on the process, results and lessons of this self-struggle.

All the hustle and bustle of the everyday life, the cares, tears, wears, the moments and worries we share, the burdens we bear alone, the moments we fall and the moments we rise, the long phases in which we forget the heavenly contract and just engage in the hamster-run…

Everything has the one supreme purpose of polishing an inner person in us who often slumbers and who will surely consciously experience his or her own funeral one day, invisible to the mourners left behind, whether they believe it today or not.

The earthlife is so jam-packed with pressure, temptation and responsibility, leaving little or no time for the occupation with the growth of the spirit. Thus, this hustle and bustle, the pressure, temptations and responsibilities MUST be actually the very theatre of spiritual development – because life gives us on a daily basis no other.

Running from the world will not save you. You may need periods of detachment once in a while; but then you have to go back into the matrix again, and again, and again. Facing the world and dealing resolutely with the world will alone make you strong.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

THE YOUNG SHALL GROW… INTO THE OLD.

My first experience with “partisan” politicking was when I was in junior secondary School. We had to separate out into different social groups and clubs, conduct elections, decide on and plan our first projects, and things like that. There were clubs like the “Junior Lieterary Society”, the “Dramatic and Cultural Soceity”, the “Red Cross Soceity”, the “UNICEF soceity”, and more. Some clubs were more popular than others, their members and leaders enjoying almost cult status and exuding an uncanny power of attraction on girls. Some people naturally wanted they and their friends to go enmasse into certain of these clubs and take over the structure and the leadership.

Spontaneously the political animal jumped out of little teenage boys; campaigns and clandestine signs, signals and meetings filled the corridors and classrooms for a few days; conspiracy theories and rumours abounded, and people cross-carpeted at will, sometimes multiple times in one day. Treachery, backstabbing, mockery, insinuation and slander were the rule of the day; it was gleeful fun; sweet-talking and arm-twisting; and efforts were made on all sides to influence people’s decisions to be loyal to one or betray another. The set was agog with negotiations and coalition-building and -undermining. Friends turned into spies; and one moment people were doing what they had condemned a moment before.

Promises of provisions, cornflakes, ice cream, invitations to certain parties, access to certain items of fashion like baffs, perfumes and designer shoes, assurances of cronje and copying, and even a share in one’s precious pocket money, could work wonders on the conscience and decision-making capacity of many a hitherto well-brought-up boy. Where cajoling and bribe proved ineffective, threats, intimidation and blackmail were applied. No-one wants to lose his friends or be left out of the group. Some people just followed out of insecurity, so as to belong. Some were more calculating and strategic in the way they aligned their support. Some others simply laughingly gave their vote to the highest bidder. Cash and carry junior politics.

Naturally not everyone displayed these maverick political instincts. Some aligned themselves based on noble ideology, some made a pledge and kept their word, and things like that; and some just had no clue or no interest. But in the end, it was the politicaally astute and the politically aggressive that won and got their way. Verily, with time even the “ideological” started to rethink their stance and to quietly join the popular clubs, especially when enticed with the offer of leadership positions. In all this of course I was not just an observer – I was caught in the web of dynamics.

Prior to this occassion I had looked with disdain at the corrupt older generation, and with hope and certainty at my generation, sure that when it was our time we would do things differently and change the country for the better. This event was one of those important early turning points and awakening moments in my young life. I saw that we are all the same. I learned that generational change is an opportunity and, eventually, a necessity; but it is not a guarantee of spiritual renewal or character transformation of a group. It is a promise of change, but not in itself a fulfilment of it. Volition alone is the trigger of change. Old or Young, you have to want to change, or you will repeat – at best in different forms – the essence of the sins of villains past.

Another thing I learned is that kids are not innocent. They know early and they show early who they are and who they want to be, or are prepared to allow themselves to be.

So, now the Mantra: “Generational Change” is in the air again. But a young wolf and an old wolf are the same – with the difference, that a young wolf is probably even hungrier. The old of today were once the youth of yesterday; and the factors that sidelined the “good” yesterday and put the “bad” in power, those same factors will be at work again today; are at work again today – they don’t go on leave. So when you’re choosing the next generation, apply the filter of knowledge and experience gained from events and processes past. Because the young shall grow… into the old. So choose wisely, and follow those that will lead us not into temptation and corruption again.

It is the job of the old to set the right example for the youth. But where the old have failed to do this, then the youth must must set forth at dawn and set these examples for themselves, and for the youth of tomorrow. No more “same old, same old”. Once upon a time, Musical Youth sang “The Youth of Today”. What happened along the way? No wonder in the same song they also sang “Don’t blame the youth…” – as if they already knew what was coming next. Well, may the next “Generation Change” usher in at last the attitudinal Change and the orientation change that we so badly Need.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

MODES THEORY

The theory that some people are good and some people are bad; some people are dependable and some people are unreliable; some people are weak and some people are strong; etc, – is false.

The proper recognition is that you are dependable to some people and unreliable to others; some people experience your good side, some suffer your bad side. In some situations you are strong, and in some situations you are weak.

You are full of theories, but in reality you are just a bunch of modes, like your mother nature herself.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije

OUR BOUNDARIES

You don’t see yourself, because you are yourself and for you that is the normal, natural, only, right and best way and thing to be. You don’t sense or recognise or take cognisance of the thought or perception that you could ‘improve’, ‘change’ or grow into something or someone ‘better’. Your limits are perceived by you as being the limits, borders and boundaries of absolute reality.

The most fundamental first step on the path to self-awareness is the accrual of the recognition that there is a difference between your reality and absolute reality. And between your reality and everybody else’s realities. And between everybody else’s realities and absolute reality.

I have gone too far. ‘Absolute Reality’ is a key term. First you have to realise – i.e. internalise through repeated experiencing – that there is a difference between yours and others’ realities. The next step is considering whether there is an ‘Absolute Reality’ different from and beyond yours and those of others, one within which every consciousness and reality finds resolution, be it in dissolution or in elevation and completion. Third is the recognition that your reality can grow towards Absolute Reality without ever reaching it, for that is the character of the absolute – it forever draws you onwards.

With the recognition that your consciousness is your perception is your reality is changeable comes the realisation that it can also grow away from Absolute Reality, i.e. shrink and become smaller, and its new boundaries become again also the limits of your perception, your consciousness, your reality. We see and live things really according to how we inwardly are. Understanding is a boundary. We say things like “The boundaries of our understanding”, whereas we should probably say instead “The understanding of our boundaries”, or better still: “Our understandings are our boundaries”.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Power is, or derives from, an idea into which all concerned subscribe. This idea is the exponent of a recognition to which a people as a collective have come; in other words, a consciousness into which a homogeneous group, a common type, has awakened. This recognition, this consciousness, now becomes a component characteristic of this homogeneous group which as a group has graduated from type to type. The members of the group thus acquire a distinct, distinctive nature that differentiates, distinguishes and distances them from every other group. They thus become a “People”, the rough draft of a nation. And this people, these people, are the children of an idea to which they have subscribed, out of which their world view has been born. And the concept of Power inherent in this idea becomes the foundational notion and nature of Power that determines their politics and their interpersonal relationships.

Because this power is subject to a context into which they all subscribe, rooted in an idea which has become their mother, they are all bound to it and all bow down before it. It thus becomes the socio-political and culturo-spiritual Soul of their national personality.

When this people comes into contact with a different people of different ideology, a culture clash takes place. Communication gaps and mutual misunderstandings become their meeting points. The divergent concepts of power, born over centuries or even millenia out of different recognitions and perceptions, creates a situation where each group has the feeling that the other group is not “playing by the rules”. Whereas perhaps they simply have a different understanding of the concept of “power” and of “power-play”. You only see what you understand; every other  thing remains at best a riddle, if not entirely invisible and impossible to perceive or empathize with in any way. At worst, it is adjudged to be a threat.

This is where the need arises to “learn another person’s language”. The other person’s inner language of concepts. Therein lies the understanding of their concept of Power, and thus of their understanding of what should be the right and balanced form of interpersonal relationships. When two such come to a mutual understanding and meet in the middle, then the product of their new and shared understanding becomes a living guideline and another valuable page in the universal charter of human rights. And responsibilities.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

NATURE OR PROPENSITY

For people who, by nature, are partner-faithful and relationship-loyal (I’m talking Sex here), there exists in their inside a great big Why when they observe how a person who they know really loves his/her partner with all his/her heart can have a sexual interchange with a third party – one time, or for a shorter or longer period, or intermittently – and yet remain totally committed to and in love with their chosen “permanent” partner. Is it a predisposition or a weakness?

It’s like a puzzle, a mystery that defies solution.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

THAT SAME OLD GOAL

Parallel worlds. The Radio is whispering coming war – cultural, civil, religious, racial. It’s in people’s eyes, there’s no love for strangers anymore, and suddenly they are everywhere.

Revenge. It’s time to correct history. Power. It’s time to attain victory. And it fills you with despair because humankind never learns. They wait a few Generations, build or buy more lethal weapons, radicalise themselves and their children some more. And then they try again.

Weapons of mis-communication; weapons of mass-Propaganda; weapons of mis-education; weapons of asocialization; weapons of radicalisation; weapons of mass-destruction. Weapons of war.

And if they fail again, they’ll think it’s because their weapons, or their tactics, were not lethal enough. They’ll never question their motives or their hatred. They’ll wait another couple of Generations, and build or buy even more lethal weapons, and perfect their tactics and strategies some more. And then try again. And again.

Until Humanity destroys itself. Completely.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

SEX IS NOT THE ONLY FORM OF INTIMATE CONVERSATION

Sex is not the only form of conversation, connection, exchange and sharing, in the course of Intimacy between people. There are other options that may fulfil the need for temporary or permanent oneness more effectively than sexual intercourse, depending on the chemistry between, the story around and the needs of and nature within the people involved.

1. THE NATURE OF CONVERSATIONS
The nature of verbal conversations between people can sometimes be a more powerful form of intimacy than sex, giving room for an inner release of pressures that not even sex can achieve. This often happens between people who feel comfortable enough with each other, or find the courage, to share information about their vulnerabilities with one another, and have found a language in which to do so. Some friendships bear this Quality intrinsically within.

2. SHARED SILENCE
There are some people whose most intimate exchange happens in deeply felt moments of shared Silence. This silence is like a continuum in which their thoughts and intuitive perceptions merge and shape one another. The people involved always emerge from such moments with enriched souls. These are people who of one another often say: we like to be silent together. Silence is their bond.

3. HONEST QUARRELS
A good quarrel – extreme, hard, honest, totally baring – is sometimes the best form of conversation and the most intimate way to exchange the most revealing information between two people or a set of people. I became acquainted with some of my closest friends after a quarrel. I met my wife through a quarrel. It was the quarrel that paved the way for the love. Quarrels are often missed opportunities when the people involved, while quarrelling, are – for lack of trust – not honest with themselves and with the other person. And yet sometimes the fundamental or temporary chemistry between two people is such that only an honest and brave painful quarrel will fulfil the function of the intimate conversation they need in order to take their understanding of one another to the next level.

4. HOMELINESS AND HOME
There are some people with whom we share the most open exchanges and most intimate conversations because the context of our chemistry and the base of our bond is a certain sense of home or homeliness, the type in which the real us feels ‘at home’ when together with these people. Some share this connection from birth, some acquire this in the course of a relationship or a friendship that makes them feel at home with each other. And this sense of home does not require of them to do or say anything extra or particular, or require another form of intimacy. The sense of being at home while together is in itself already their intimate conversation.

5. DISTANCE
There is a curious intimacy in distance that sometimes comes into play between certain people. It is delicate and fine, but also very intense, very strong and very revelatory. Invasion without invasiveness. Penetration without intrusion. An all-encompassing knowing, full of the most sensitive respect. The power of distance as a mediator and form of intimacy is often underrated. And yet there are some people with whom we can only enjoy a feeling and a sense of an intimate conversation when we find and keep the right distance between ourselves. Sometimes such people know us more intimately than the ones closest to us and may sometimes enjoy our rarest trust. It is also not by chance that people sometimes reveal themselves to and connect with less restriction and more satisfaction with Strangers than with those they know – exactly because of the fact that they are, and will remain,… strangers.

6. SEX AS A DEPTH OF COMMUNICATION
Voluntary sex is different things to different people – a power-game, a playful act; or for some it’s deeper, a level of release. There are people however who, apart from or in addition to this, experience sex as a form of conversation. An intimate way of sharing self-knowledge and exchanging sensitive wordless information about what we are in the primitive depths of our fundamental personalities. Just as sex can be used to tell lies, project a falsehood and hide secrets, it can also be used – by people whose bond trigger that chemistry – to communicate. People who experience sex solely in this way have a satisfying sense of communication, or frustrating non-communication, in connection with every moment of sexual intimacy.

7. A SHARED GOAL
There may be truth to the saying that there is nothing that binds people together as primordially and intuitively as a deeply-felt and shared Goal. The stronger and deeper the love and loyalty they have for the cause, the more this condition possesses the ability to break all barriers between them and link inner parts of their hidden selves with one another on levels which are never activated in their dealings with other people. That is to say: when people love the same thing and work passionately towards the same purpose, it wavelengths them into a place where only they can go together. The entire context of their relationship with each other becomes determined by that for which they share their truest love and most quiet loyalty, to which they have pledged the very essence their life, and it becomes the underlining hearth of their bond, their quiet intimate conversation.

The individual natures of each person and the chemistry between people, as well as the nature of intimacy possible, mutually desired or needed between them, is what determines the form of interchange between them which permits the realisation of this intimacy.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

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