Of Dark Feelings

THE GOD OF THE WILLING

~ Che ~ Leave a comment

We cannot use God to hide away from the world. Rather we should use God to engage with, decipher and overcome the world. Above all, the world within us. God is not for cowards or weaklings. God is for the brave, the bold, the adventurous, the determined, the open, those who are ready to use the earthlife for that for which it was granted to them: to experience, and to grow through this experiencing.

The form or the content of the experiencing is different for each person. For some it is a quiet thing they need to experience, for others it is a loud thing; for some it is a popular thing they must dare, for others it is an unpopular or even a seemingly inconsequential thing; for some it is a controversial thing, for others it is a safe and boring and therefore annoying and unbearable thing; for some it is personal love, for others it is objective love.

Everybody has those things that will call their heart deeply – and running to God will still not free you from them. There is no escape because it is inside you. God is not there to hide you from yourself or from your challenges. God is there to help you to deal with them. That is why HE granted you this earth life, because HE knows you will need every second of whatever length of time you earned for yourself in this current incarnation.

So, get to work! Go for it. Set off with the business of living by experiencing. God will help you if you are brave and honest.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

OVERCOMING

~ Che ~ Leave a comment 
Not everyone who tries to kill you will succeed;

Your heart might bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed

But in the end you will find out you have simply been freed.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

TYPES

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Sometimes you are just not someone’s type. They might be attracted to you for a while, curious about you, interested in you, be entertained by you. But in the end they will betray you or leave you, because deep within their heart you are actually not their type or what they’re looking for.

And there are two types of them. Those that will tell you honestly up front. And those who won’t.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

WHEN THE WOUND DOESN’T HEAL

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When the wound heals outside
Without healing inside
Baby you are beautiful inside and outside
Your smile is open wide
But your heart, the one that cried
But your heart, the one that lied
But your heart, the one that died
Is closed up on the inside
And will continue to pretend and to hide…
Your laughter is it pain or is it pride?
Lonely bride
You are a lonely bride.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

THERE IS AN ANGER

~ Che ~ Leave a comment 
There is an anger that cannot be stopped
Until it has burned its way through the heart
And left a trail of cold ash and dropped
Off shrivelled and twisted like abstract art
On the canvas where memories are developed
Negatives left behind for a seeker’s chart.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

LOVERS AND OR FRIENDS

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My friends are more important to me than my lovers. Lovers betray you, at some level, but friends stay loyal. True friends. The best lovers are also friends. The best friends don’t have to be lovers, don’t need to be lovers, to mean the world to you. Friendship beats everything else. There are some people you can be lovers with, but not friends. The moment the love affair ends, the friendship collapses, because it was inwardly empty. It was only sex, carnal comfort and perhaps some degree of emotional connection, but without reciprocal Depth. No sex is worth the best friendship. Nothing beats a person you share your truth with and the truth is safe with them, and they share their truth with you and it is safe with you. Share is the operational word. Safe is the magic word. It is safeness and trust. Respect, honesty and genuineness.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

HEALED BROKEN

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It’s not as easy as you think
Some bones heal in their broken position
Yes, they don’t hurt anymore
But they will never again make the same old motion
And you will never again feel the former emotion.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

DENIED

~ Che ~ Leave a comment 
If you died
Right now
Ask yourself
What have you lied
To yourself
About.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

PARALLEL UNIVERSES

~ Che ~ Leave a comment

When a person just doesn’t know how to tell you the truth, they simply stick to the lie. From start to finish. Even if they want to tell you the truth, they don’t know how to, they don’t know where to start because the truth runs on a completely different storyline and separate lifestyle, opposite reality and parallel universe. It will hurt you deeply and completely overturn your view of life and of them. Or so the person thinks. But if only they would try you, to see a new person emerge and a new powerful authentic relationship form.

Starting with a lie is always a slippery slope, a rollercoaster ride. It is nervousness and heart palpitations from start to finish. It can be exciting and exhilarating, until it becomes human and personal. Then it becomes a chore, a nightmare, a heavy load, and a puzzling sphinx, a difficult riddle to solve. Tell the truth and shatter the other person’s reality? Or maintain the lie and allow it to eat you inside and gnaw at the other person’s gut instincts, and prevent both of you from ever forming a true bond? And yet, only the truth liberates.

There will be a humanity one day of honest human spirits who live, share and relate in the light of truth always and in all things. Deeply and simply. Inside and out. Individually and as a society. The most fundamental truth we owe ourselves as human beings is the truth of how we really are as a person. This is the basis of all relationships and of society and of a possibility to one day have a reflection of Paradise on Earth. A home away from Home.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

QUIETLY

~ Che ~ Leave a comment 
Is there any hope for me?
Good Friday not so good.
A deep slumber of mystery,
A soul troubled to darkly brood,
A distracted mind of matter,
But knock knock, knock on wood,
Who’s there to lovingly shatter
My illusions? For truth is food.
Wake me up before you go -
Resurrection will upon crucifixion intrude:
Resist injustice, rediscover my glow,
Because, inside, I’m in a sunny mood.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river