START AGAIN

Start again
It was all a lie
Deceitful illusion
Full of grinning fools

Everybody looking worried
When a pin dropped
Yet nodding wisely their heads
When the world goes to war

They all fear the dawn
The end of the act
Wake up from your heaven
You’re living in hell

Just start again
Freed of illusions
Eyes opened wide…
And, yes, doubt the preacher too.

— CHE CHIDI CHUKWUMERIJE.

IN OUR DESERT

amazon cover copy there is always something more 2015
BIGOTRY CONTINUES to exist upon the face of the earth, but not within its heart. And just as skin-characteristics are skin-deep, so is bigotry only surface-deep. I’m talking about the face of the earth.

But anyone who nurtures bigotry within the heart will continue to nourish it for a long time yet to come. It will not die easily. Is there hope for the flower?

Should I revert to the tales of the heart? Should I revert to the inner sequence? Should I revert to yesterday’s tenderness? The first woman? The last kiss?

Or should I continue into the desert? Should I seek a new oasis and wander after the unknown treasures of the sand? But who can open up the secrets of the sand? A flower?

The first strike was a miss. The first step was the first fall. The first sight was blinded by a pitch-fork. But there will be a second. The second is the other side of the coin.

I want to write a poem. I want to penetrate deep into the heart of the broken home, there where the spirit in us resides. We are all to one another strangers. Bridges we build, communal words we use, eyes we touch when we will, hands we give, yet remain unto one another strangers. The shared blood was poisoned aye ere we were born. The shared earth was divided already long ago and divided we stand and stare at one another across the border, the boundaries of our little egos and remain each alone. But each is but alone. Little egos. Little worlds. Little by little, if watered, like flowers, perhaps, we grow.

The secrets of the sand, approaching, covering up our footsteps. Hey, I wrote this poem before, when I was young. But if I was young then, what am I now, older or younger? For the first poem was the greater and the latter flow gropes for reconnection with the source that thundered out of the young heart of the finalised decision. Seen once. Pondered once. Grasped once. Perceived once. Decided once. At the start of the journey. And everything else is just the hanging on, the wondering, the new search. We have found but have not yet reached the Goal. We are still on the path. Believing in the flower.

This is what I would like to give to you, a flower in the desert. Do not perhaps think that the Desert is more powerful than the flower. Nay. There you would err. But treasure and protect the flower. Water it anywhere you see it. For the flower alone, of all the forces in the universe, can subdue the Desert.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

Taken from my collection of thoughts and stories: “There Is Always Something More.”

KUSS UNTERM BERG

Ich hocke blau im dunklen Berg
Horche, höre verhalten deine Schritte

Die Täler teilen, öffnen sich generös
Das Gebüsch dunkel lacht amourös

Deine Hand lässt zittern mich aufatmen
Wieso der feste Griff? Wovor die Angst?

Die Berge rufen wie Vergangenheit
Was wollen die denn von mir?

Sie haben dich zum Leben erwacht
Zurück geführt zu mir.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

SELF-RECONCILIATION

It took a long time
For pain
To come back home

I had forgotten
All about it
I was not prepared

But like a thief
Stealthily it crept up
On me, oh my soul

Like a thief
Yes it stole its way
Back into my soul

I’m strong because I’m weak
I hurt because I seek
I’m not a loner, I’m lost

I did not break – because I believed
I’m broken – because I believed
I’m woken, I’m empty

All that’s left is just me
Asking me to look at me
Take good care of me

Look at me
Get to know me
For the first time in my life.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

DETACHED

I saw a child
Waiting at a bus-stop
Waiting after school
Waiting in the woods.

Child, what are you
Waiting for?

I’m waiting for my mother
Waiting for my father
To come and pick me up
Take me home.

The child’s eyes
Were wide and trusting
Full of hopes and questions
And fears.

And the child said
With pleading eyes:
I really should not speak
To strangers.

The years have passed
And now when I pass by
I see a quiet adult standing there,
Smiling, detached, lonely.

And I wonder
Whatever happened to that child?

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

LOST

You don’t know
How it feels
To feel abandoned
Disoriented, homeless
Unprotected and lost
Do you?

It’s the worst thing
That can happen to
A child, a youth in
The making, a heart
In the breaking, an
Adult early forsaken.

It follows you
All your life
Like a boat sailing
And sailing and sailing
Looking, for land
To go ashore, never-finding

Sometimes I see
A pair of eyes
And I know that
You too were abandoned
And have never found
Your way back home again

The world is full of
Loneliness and stories
Half-written…

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

MIR VERTRAUTER

Die Worte kehren zurück
Schmilzeschnee aus Österreich
Pendelvögel aus Afroteich
Alte Liebe aus vergrabnem Glück
Und dann sehe, tanze, küsse ich dich
Ein Lächeln aus Lust und Laune
Aus Freude, Unruhe und flehendem Blick
Nach einem Moment mit mir alleine.

Ich mag dein Lächeln
Noch anziehender ist’s als deine Hübschheit
Und mir vertraut ohne Ende
Nur deine Augen sind mir vertrauter
Schweigen lauter und verschwiegen.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

EARTHING

She loves pain
To feel it I mean
Like earth loves rain
To feel it she says
Hurt me before you love me
Hurt me if you love me
Pain is my mantle
Break it open to reach me
Light my candle
Read my signals I’m screaming
Half her lovers think she’s joking
Until she ups and walks away
The other half keep her running
Round and round in circles
Seeking silence.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

WRITE AND WRONG

Writing for the Readership
Instead of for yourself
Following the Leadership
Ignoring yourself

Where will it lead you to?
When you get there
Vice in the Guise of Virtue
And Loneliness austere
And Amnesia won’t still your Longing
Still searching for a Sense of Belonging.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

ALL OF IT

Bear with grace
Life’s every face
Truth is a buffet
Conscience is selective
I guess everyone is right
According to taste

You’ll always be someone else
To someone else
But the sum of your contradictions
Contradicts each one of them –
But bear with grace
Every face, life’s every phase.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.