Intuitions

TRUTH AS INTIMACY

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The greatest Act of love and respect I can show a human being is to tell the person the truth. There is nothing worse I can do to you, or you can do to me, than to tell each other a lie or withhold the truth from one another when one asks for it. I don’t know about you, but I need truth like a drug and a medicine between me and the people close to me. It is everything. No matter what that truth is, I don’t really care. Even if it is a truth that will hurt me, disgust me, break me, shock me, kill me, withholding it from me or lying to me about it will put me in a worse hell and deeper anguish when I find out or if I sense it. If you’re close to me, don’t lie to me. My respect for you is more greatly diminished by dishonesty than by whatever it is you did that you’re trying to hide from me. Truth bonds me strongly to love.

Truthfulness is the deepest form of intimacy that I understand. If you are close to me and I am close to you, then just know this and be prepared for it: I will not lie to you. I will tell you the truth. If you don’t want to hear the truth, then don’t ask me. I can’t lie to the people I love. If I lie to you, if I withhold the truth from you (unless I’m doing it temporarily until we’re in a place and moment I can tell you), then it means that you are not close to me. And, conversely, if you lie to me, if you withhold the truth from me, then to me it means that you don’t or no longer love me or I’m not close to your heart. Some people think it’s the opposite: they withhold painful truths from the person they love, so as not to hurt the person. But if you do that to me, then it’s either you don’t really love me or you actually want to hurt me down the line.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

WOMAN’S HEART

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Women are usually emotionally far ahead of men. For brief moments, the men might overtake, but in the overall story, usually a woman’s heart knows more than a man’s heart, knows it earlier than the man’s heart, remembers more than the man’s heart does, and retains the memory for much much longer than a man’s heart ever could.

Without woman’s heart we would lose our memory of home and our understanding of homeliness. When a woman goes, the home goes. And when a woman comes, Home comes back. The heart of woman alone can dig a tunnel to hell or span Heimdall’s bridge to Heaven. And she does it quietly, right there beside you, where the half of them poison you and kill your spirit’s joy, and the other half of them heal you and make you deeply happy. With just a few words, and sometimes even without saying a word.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

REAFFIRMING DIGNITY

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When a woman leaves a man who loves her to follow a man of money, it is the most crushing pain a man can feel. But if he does not let it kill him, it will only liberate him in the end. Every once in a while you have a chance to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself “I am somebody”. Something will push you there. Something that seems aimed at robbing you of your dignity, your pride, your self-respect. Something that will try to tie your actual value as a human being to some material status or achievement or level of acceptance by someone or some people. Something that will make you feel small. And nothing does this deeper than love that chooses money over you. Then you have to stand in front of the mirror and look into the soul of that man staring back at you and recognise his true value. Remind yourself of the principles at the core of your foundations as a Human Being. Remind yourself of what connects you to God and to true life. And teach yourself again that your value is more than your monetary wealth or material standing. And don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise – not any man and not any woman. Because, In Your Dignity, You Are Somebody.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

LOVE AND PAIN

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Why is there so much hurt in this world? Why is it hard for people to join hearts without causing each other pain? Why is pain an unavoidable component of love and of togetherness? Is the human spirit really incapable of honest, pure, harmonious, mature love?

The people that love you are the people you will hurt, and they are the people that will hurt you the deepest and the most. And yet you cannot stop loving and you cannot stop loving them. Nor they you.

Who has ever found happiness on earth without it being laced with anguish and spiked with periodic doses of lacerating pain? If you haven’t found this, then you’ve never felt love yet. Because you can never find the love without the pain.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

ROSES OF GRACE

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It’s only by the grace and power of God that we are able to forgive some people. But we are. For the sake of our own inner peace and soul health. We are. Because we want to. And we receive the help to do so. Help to be free of hatred, free of anger, free of bitterness and, eventually, free of hurting and pain.

Sometimes my emotions feel like flowers and today I am full of roses. Love is a strange medicine. It hurts when it heals, and it caresses and brings pleasure when it is actually causing damage. Don’t assume all is well simply because someone is smiling. When they’re crying is usually when they’re most honest and healthy and in the process of healing.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

EACH ONE HEAL ONE

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We all have that one person who we don’t like to think of, but who we also never forget. That one person, the thought of whom causes us so much pain and anger. That one person who hurt us, or deceived us, or betrayed us, or belittled us and made us feel so small, or took advantage of us, or kicked us when we were down and weak, or made a fool of us, or stole what was precious from us, or led us astray, or lied against us, or harmed us.Maybe it was that one person who we trusted deeply and who betrayed this trust. That one person who left a permanent scar in our heart. We all have that one person who we don’t like to think about but who we also never forget.

And that person also has the one person who they don’t like to think about but who they also never forget. And so it goes round and round in a circle, and we are all locked and connected in a net of pain and disappointment and bitterness and betrayal and memory and hurt. And regret. No one is spared, no one is innocent, no one is free of pain or of guilt. We are the ones who teach each other the lessons of life and of the vagaries of the human heart. We are all we have. Those that hurt you and those that harm you and those that heal you and those that hug you and those that have you are all the same people. Everybody has touched somebody. And everybody has been touched by somebody. Each one hurt one. Each one heal one. Forgive, and move on.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

WHERE THE HEART BELONGS

~ Che ~ 2 Comments

Someone who doesn’t take you with both hands, willingly and eagerly and totally, that person is not your home, nor you theirs. No matter how much it hurts, tear yourself away from them and move on.

Wounds heal with time.

We live in two worlds simultaneously. The one world is politics and society, is work and recreation, is projects and ambitions and all kinds of responsibilities, is ideologies, and is even family too sometimes. This is the one world, in which we chase achievements.

But there is another world in which we also live. It is deeper, is more subtle, more intense, quieter, and often very invisible. It is the loves that come and go; the tears and longings that burn our hearts; the seldom laughter of genuine joy; the raw friendships; the secret passionate love affairs; the intimately guarded happy home; the given trust and the broken trust; it is the real us deep inside.

We live in these two worlds simultaneously. And then time passes, and we die. And our obituary is full of what we did in the one world. While all our memories from the other world depart with us quietly in our hearts. And in the hearts of those who shared it with us.

Wounds will heal with time. But, while you’re on that journey, don’t go to where your heart does not belong. Seek your happiness in being true to yourself, always.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

GOOD FOR THE SAKE OF YOU

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When you do the right thing, you’re doing it for yourself. Always remember that. And let that be your motivation, your reward and your joy. Because you have to live with yourself always, and there is nothing worse than living with someone you don’t respect, someone you don’t trust, someone you don’t like and someone who is not in sync with you. And that person is yourself.

You are your own home, your own paradise or hell, and your own purgatory too in whom you have to recognise, discipline, purify and transform yourself. You are all you have. Handle yourself with care and with thought, with integrity. Any lesson you would like to teach your children one day, or wish you taught your children once upon a time, teach that lesson to yourself today. Lessons of character. Regard yourself as your first and last and only true child. If that child dies, you die.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

THE FINAL IMPRESSION

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The last picture we have of a person determines what we continue to think about that person; and yet that person might have changed the very next day after the last time we saw them.

But for years and decades after that we continue to hold this picture and this opinion about the person.

And should our paths ever cross again we usually begin to relate again to that person and that opinion and that picture and that character that was the one we last experienced and remember.

So, we end up talking to a ghost and missing the real person right there in front of us.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

A LITTLE HAPPY EVERYDAY

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Sometimes you love someone, but the person loves someone else. Or the person simply prefers a lifestyle different from the one which a life with you would have to offer them. So they choose or go after someone else who, or another path that, can offer them that lifestyle.

Being that the aim, the very aim, of life itself is Happiness, this experience of rejection cuts to the very heart of the essence of existence. The hurt can kill the soul. It makes people reappraise themselves, question their worth and even find fault in their own fundamental character. Yet, while self-examination is healthy, so also are self-love, self-understanding and self-acceptance equally necessary.

When trapped in a spiral of self-abnegation in which one no longer recognises oneself, It then becomes imperative to awaken, within one’s consciousness, a new narrative of life and of self in order to find the path to a new source of joy, as a new person. To outgrow the self-image that traps one in a cycle of pain, perhaps even to shed certain traits, and to learn to see oneself, one’s path and one’s Why with fresh new eyes. To find a new understanding of the purpose of life.

This is where the concept of never giving up comes into play. Every morning when you wake up, strive for joy. Be prepared to let go of those thoughts and those beliefs that weigh you down debilitatingly. Be ready and able every day to try a new path, a new thought, until you find the exit – and then you can take flight again.

Life is a jigsaw puzzle. Many parts fit, but many parts don’t fit also. And you have to move the pieces about in your heart and in your life continuously, often, and courageously in order to slowly put your answers together.

And, as you stride on along this way, try… try to be a little happy every day. In the end, that’s all you have. That’s all we have to share with one another. That is our humanity.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains