How something so good Can just suddenly spoil You would be so surprised What’s hidden in the soil. How success and fulfilment Can defy time and toil You would be so mortified What’s hidden in the soil. How the hand that loved Can suddenly recoil You would be so horrified What’s hidden in the soil. The human heart is a garden, A kitchen, a fertile soil And strange things happen When things come to the boil. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
Of Change
THE GAMES WE PLAY
These games that we play, and think it’s just fun, they can really damage people. And by the time we start to suspect the damage we have done and start to pull back, it’s already too late and the victims are left reeling and wounded for the rest of their lives or for a very long time afterwards. These games of hearts, of love and sex, and of adventures, of selfish desires and of fun.
Sometimes we think we’re just expressing ourselves, or just seeking the meaning of life, or just getting out of life everything that it has to offer, or just doing what “everybody else” does, or just living life to the full, or just making sure we don’t die one day with regrets in our hearts of the things we left undone, or simply assuaging our own personal propensities, or even getting back at someone, or maybe trying to experience for ourselves how something feels, or just having some harmless fun.
I used to think that the things I would one day regret the most are the things I left undone, the opportunities I missed because I did not try to get them. But now I realise that the pain and regret that comes from doing certain things is even worse, and is real, and stays with you. You can’t run away from them because it is real and something you actually did. And all the apologies in the world has not made them go away. The only consolation, if any, is that your heart has learned a deep lesson that should, hopefully, make you a better person for the rest of this life and also in your subsequent reincarnations on Earth. Hearts hurt for a very long time.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
SMILE
Did you know that Smiling makes you happy When you’re feeling crappy? Did you know that? I bet you’re smiling now. And if you were feeling crappy, Now you’re feeling a little happy - I bet you’re smiling now. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
THE DAY THE LAUGHTER CAME AGAIN
The day the laughter came again I stood in shock and stared at it in awe Like a stranger from a distant terrain For I had forgotten to a tragic flaw How laughter sounds and makes you feel. It felt so good it made me want to cry; The power of laughter and joy is real - A heart that laughs purely will never die. The day the laughter came again I was at the lowest ebb of my life, My soul wracked every day by pain, Torn by questions and unresolved strife, I woke up that morning and prayed to God, then set out to bravely meet the day And as I, work-focused, did onward plod, Laughter came to me again along my way. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
WHAT WORDS CAN DO
I’ve learnt the hard way What words can do When I write or say Them to you. When I think you will read between the lines You read the lines, And when I think you will read the lines You read between the lines. Sometimes I think you will understand That I don’t really mean what I’m saying, But the words enter you and start to expand And exact a price I will long be paying. Because words carry life And words carry meaning, A word that cuts and kills like a knife May not be corrected by a word of healing. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
UNTIL IT HAPPENS
You think it matters Until it happens And then you realise It doesn’t really matter You think it kills Until it happens And then you realise It only hurts for a while And then it disappears. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
PRE-DAWN
The light is gone from my heart And gone from my life And cut out my most sensitive part With a dark burning knife But I don’t care, because underneath The heavy mountain of pain A greater flame bursts from its sheath And lights up my heart again. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
DON’T GET LOST IN THE DARK
Don’t get lost in the dark Wait for the mist to clear The emotions never speak the truth They are always informed and biased by feelings You just have to wait for the mist to clear It takes a shorter or longer time to pass Depending on your nature And depending on the circumstances Just don’t get lost in the dark. Azuka Chukwumerije
SWAN SONG
Always remember one thing If it’s true love it can’t move on overnight It has to close its ring Heal its wound, acquire new insight And make the heart a swan-song sing. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
ORIENTATION
Don’t get used to the exhilaration, It is a bubble that will soon burst To be followed by the long deprivation And the unbroken thirst. Get used to the soberness instead, It will stay for longer than you hope And will be your daily bread With which you have to daily cope. I try not to yearn for the happiness, But the heart is treacherous; Unbidden it feels a new tenderness - This happens to all of us. And there are some pains you prepare for - They will always come, come back to you, For once upon a time it was you who tore It out of your heart and gave it a job to do. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
Che Chidi Chukwumerije 