Time is such a strange thing. We always forget how long it is. One day you will change and you will look back and ask yourself Why. Why did I do that? Why did I not do that? Why did I say that? Why did I not say that? Why. Was it really worth it?
If it was, you will know and you will be happy. If it wasn’t, you will know and you will be sad.
But only time will tell you what your heart is still too blind or too stubborn or too immature to see today.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
So many things ending in my life this month, as March ends. And so many things starting. Looking forward to April. Is my heart big enough to contain and bear it all? Yes, my heart is always big enough. And when it isn’t, it simply grows some more, grows again.
Aries, as ever, you end the old and bring the new. For me, to me, in me.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
Take your time to know.
Find your space to grow.
Time and space are seeds you sow
To reap maturity tomorrow.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river
The simplest things can turn hard All of a sudden and for no reason Other than you made a small error Of judgment in the easy season. The hardest things can become easy All of a sudden and without effort Simply because you change your perception Because mentality is a form of transport. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
We expect more from sex than it can give. And when it fails to give it, we take more and more and more of it, demanding with even more intensity and urgency from it that which it is unable to give. Unable to give because, no matter how deep and intimate it is, in the end it’s still just sex. It can never fulfil your soul. And the real you, the human spirit, is in the soul. There is a depth of unhappiness that it cannot fill, a height of joy it cannot reach. There is a fineness and exactness of intimate connection which sex can only crudely attempt to approximate without being able to fill the gaps.
The gaps that sincerity can fill; the gaps that honesty can bridge; the gaps that integrity can close; the gaps that trust can repair; the gaps that homogeneity can make disappear; the gaps that reliability can heal; the gaps that a shared Ideal and a common goal can plug; the gaps that working together can eliminate; the gaps that intimate truthful conversations can undo; the gaps that a harmonisation of thinking and intuiting can cure. All the gaps that the best sex in the world cannot fill. No matter how often and creatively we try to find the fulfilment therein.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
Sometimes a part of you Can live outside of you And run away from you And refuse to come back to you And will ignore you And will not recognise you And will reject you And will hurt you And will avoid you Because the reason why It is living outside of you Is in order to find itself And fully become itself Through struggle, experiencing and reflection Uninfluenced by you In order to one day be able To complement you And be complemented by you. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
Be honest with people upfront. Because they are giving you their all, hoping you will accept it and believing you are the one. If you know you are not available for them or they are not what you seek, don’t let them plant their garden in your backyard and enjoy their fruits for a while before brutally uprooting them when you’ve had enough, or when they now want to enter the house, or when the one or thing you really want shows up. You cause a deep pain in the universe and open a wound in their hearts that will bleed for lifetimes thereafter. Be honest with people upfront. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Don’t say things you don’t mean or that aren’t REALLY real. If it’s not what you really want or if you’re not really sure, say it truthfully, keep your distance or break it off at once. You will gain a friend, and respect, for life, down the line.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
A marriage should not be based on emotions and karmic threads, but on spiritual homogeneity. If you are a truth seeker, then your partner must be a truth seeker too. If you have a certain conviction or recognition about how life really is and should be lived, then your partner must share a similar recognition or consciousness, independently and self-motivatedly, otherwise you will not be able to go down the same path together; you will not travel together in the same direction. If you are not anchored in the same spiritual orientation, then when critical challenges come upon you you will make fundamentally different decisions, guided each by a different assumption or conviction – because you have fundamentally different understandings of what life is, how life is, and what really matters in life. You have to be travelling in the same direction first, for the same reason, in order to be able to complement one another in your union and enrich one another with your differences.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
He was going to the right place, but for the wrong reason. So he stopped himself and started going to the wrong place, but for the right reason. Then his helpers stopped him and pointed him back to the right place. Now he’s gone to the right place again, but this time for the right reason. And rightness was fulfilled.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
These games that we play, and think it’s just fun, they can really damage people. And by the time we start to suspect the damage we have done and start to pull back, it’s already too late and the victims are left reeling and wounded for the rest of their lives or for a very long time afterwards. These games of hearts, of love and sex, and of adventures, of selfish desires and of fun.
Sometimes we think we’re just expressing ourselves, or just seeking the meaning of life, or just getting out of life everything that it has to offer, or just doing what “everybody else” does, or just living life to the full, or just making sure we don’t die one day with regrets in our hearts of the things we left undone, or simply assuaging our own personal propensities, or even getting back at someone, or maybe trying to experience for ourselves how something feels, or just having some harmless fun.
I used to think that the things I would one day regret the most are the things I left undone, the opportunities I missed because I did not try to get them. But now I realise that the pain and regret that comes from doing certain things is even worse, and is real, and stays with you. You can’t run away from them because it is real and something you actually did. And all the apologies in the world has not made them go away. The only consolation, if any, is that your heart has learned a deep lesson that should, hopefully, make you a better person for the rest of this life and also in your subsequent reincarnations on Earth. Hearts hurt for a very long time.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
Che Chidi Chukwumerije 