Of Contemplation And Search

WE EXPECT MORE FROM SEX

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We expect more from sex than it can give. And when it fails to give it, we take more and more and more of it, demanding with even more intensity and urgency from it that which it is unable to give. Unable to give because, no matter how deep and intimate it is, in the end it’s still just sex. It can never fulfil your soul. And the real you, the human spirit, is in the soul. There is a depth of unhappiness that it cannot fill, a height of joy it cannot reach. There is a fineness and exactness of intimate connection which sex can only crudely attempt to approximate without being able to fill the gaps.

The gaps that sincerity can fill; the gaps that honesty can bridge; the gaps that integrity can close; the gaps that trust can repair; the gaps that homogeneity can make disappear; the gaps that reliability can heal; the gaps that a shared Ideal and a common goal can plug; the gaps that working together can eliminate; the gaps that intimate truthful conversations can undo; the gaps that a harmonisation of thinking and intuiting can cure. All the gaps that the best sex in the world cannot fill. No matter how often and creatively we try to find the fulfilment therein.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

A PART OF YOU

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Sometimes a part of you
Can live outside of you
And run away from you
And refuse to come back to you
And will ignore you
And will not recognise you
And will reject you
And will hurt you
And will avoid you

Because the reason why
It is living outside of you
Is in order to find itself
And fully become itself
Through struggle, experiencing and reflection
Uninfluenced by you
In order to one day be able
To complement you
And be complemented by you.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

BE HONEST WITH PEOPLE UPFRONT

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Be honest with people upfront. Because they are giving you their all, hoping you will accept it and believing you are the one. If you know you are not available for them or they are not what you seek, don’t let them plant their garden in your backyard and enjoy their fruits for a while before brutally uprooting them when you’ve had enough, or when they now want to enter the house, or when the one or thing you really want shows up. You cause a deep pain in the universe and open a wound in their hearts that will bleed for lifetimes thereafter. Be honest with people upfront. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Don’t say things you don’t mean or that aren’t REALLY real. If it’s not what you really want or if you’re not really sure, say it truthfully, keep your distance or break it off at once. You will gain a friend, and respect, for life, down the line.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

SAME DIFFERENCE

~ Che ~ 1 Comment

A marriage should not be based on emotions and karmic threads, but on spiritual homogeneity. If you are a truth seeker, then your partner must be a truth seeker too. If you have a certain conviction or recognition about how life really is and should be lived, then your partner must share a similar recognition or consciousness, independently and self-motivatedly, otherwise you will not be able to go down the same path together; you will not travel together in the same direction. If you are not anchored in the same spiritual orientation, then when critical challenges come upon you you will make fundamentally different decisions, guided each by a different assumption or conviction – because you have fundamentally different understandings of what life is, how life is, and what really matters in life. You have to be travelling in the same direction first, for the same reason, in order to be able to complement one another in your union and enrich one another with your differences.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

RIGHTNESS

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He was going to the right place, but for the wrong reason. So he stopped himself and started going to the wrong place, but for the right reason. Then his helpers stopped him and pointed him back to the right place. Now he’s gone to the right place again, but this time for the right reason. And rightness was fulfilled.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

THE GAMES WE PLAY

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These games that we play, and think it’s just fun, they can really damage people. And by the time we start to suspect the damage we have done and start to pull back, it’s already too late and the victims are left reeling and wounded for the rest of their lives or for a very long time afterwards. These games of hearts, of love and sex, and of adventures, of selfish desires and of fun.

Sometimes we think we’re just expressing ourselves, or just seeking the meaning of life, or just getting out of life everything that it has to offer, or just doing what “everybody else” does, or just living life to the full, or just making sure we don’t die one day with regrets in our hearts of the things we left undone, or simply assuaging our own personal propensities, or even getting back at someone, or maybe trying to experience for ourselves how something feels, or just having some harmless fun.

I used to think that the things I would one day regret the most are the things I left undone, the opportunities I missed because I did not try to get them. But now I realise that the pain and regret that comes from doing certain things is even worse, and is real, and stays with you. You can’t run away from them because it is real and something you actually did. And all the apologies in the world has not made them go away. The only consolation, if any, is that your heart has learned a deep lesson that should, hopefully, make you a better person for the rest of this life and also in your subsequent reincarnations on Earth. Hearts hurt for a very long time.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

ASSUMPTION IS THE FILTER OF CONSCIOUSNESS

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Realising you’ve been deceived
Is very hard to believe
Because it looked so real
How it made you feel
But that is the first rule of deception
It must never look like deception
When you look at a wolf clothed as a sheep
You don’t see a wolf clothed as a sheep
You see a sheep. Everything around you
Could be a cover created to confound you.
Our wishes, insecurities, vanities, memories,
Propensities - they all block our senses.
Assumption is the filter of consciousness.
Worse, presumption. Everything is a dress,
And who or what is wearing each dress
You will learn by experience as you progress.
But as you become more knowledgeable
You ironically also become more gullible.
You are stunned, as you learn and grow,
To realise there’s still so much you don’t know.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

REAFFIRMING DIGNITY

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When a woman leaves a man who loves her to follow a man of money, it is the most crushing pain a man can feel. But if he does not let it kill him, it will only liberate him in the end. Every once in a while you have a chance to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself “I am somebody”. Something will push you there. Something that seems aimed at robbing you of your dignity, your pride, your self-respect. Something that will try to tie your actual value as a human being to some material status or achievement or level of acceptance by someone or some people. Something that will make you feel small. And nothing does this deeper than love that chooses money over you. Then you have to stand in front of the mirror and look into the soul of that man staring back at you and recognise his true value. Remind yourself of the principles at the core of your foundations as a Human Being. Remind yourself of what connects you to God and to true life. And teach yourself again that your value is more than your monetary wealth or material standing. And don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise – not any man and not any woman. Because, In Your Dignity, You Are Somebody.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

LOOKING EVERYWHERE

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When people find what they are looking for
They find it’s not what they are looking for
And then they begin to look for
Clarity about what they are really looking for.

And they look for clarity everywhere,
In everything, in every way, they dare
Every adventure, no matter how rare,
Every experience that might get them there.

Because the possession of clarity
About one’s path and identity
Is the actual meaning of true life-quality
And the paramount shaper of reality.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

MY PATH

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I‘m just on my lonely path
But very few people know
And even those that know
Still don’t really know
Because how can you know
What I don’t truly show?
The nature of my sorrow
The depth of my flow
For I still have many miles to go
In my search for tomorrow
And only I truly know
The loneliness of my path.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river