Don’t get used to the exhilaration, It is a bubble that will soon burst To be followed by the long deprivation And the unbroken thirst. Get used to the soberness instead, It will stay for longer than you hope And will be your daily bread With which you have to daily cope. I try not to yearn for the happiness, But the heart is treacherous; Unbidden it feels a new tenderness - This happens to all of us. And there are some pains you prepare for - They will always come, come back to you, For once upon a time it was you who tore It out of your heart and gave it a job to do. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
Of Dark Feelings
EACH ONE HEAL ONE
We all have that one person who we don’t like to think of, but who we also never forget. That one person, the thought of whom causes us so much pain and anger. That one person who hurt us, or deceived us, or betrayed us, or belittled us and made us feel so small, or took advantage of us, or kicked us when we were down and weak, or made a fool of us, or stole what was precious from us, or led us astray, or lied against us, or harmed us.Maybe it was that one person who we trusted deeply and who betrayed this trust. That one person who left a permanent scar in our heart. We all have that one person who we don’t like to think about but who we also never forget.
And that person also has the one person who they don’t like to think about but who they also never forget. And so it goes round and round in a circle, and we are all locked and connected in a net of pain and disappointment and bitterness and betrayal and memory and hurt. And regret. No one is spared, no one is innocent, no one is free of pain or of guilt. We are the ones who teach each other the lessons of life and of the vagaries of the human heart. We are all we have. Those that hurt you and those that harm you and those that heal you and those that hug you and those that have you are all the same people. Everybody has touched somebody. And everybody has been touched by somebody. Each one hurt one. Each one heal one. Forgive, and move on.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
YEAR OF ACHING
What a difference a year can make Depending on the path you take The pillars you shake The bonds you break The demons or the angels you wake And the thirsts you slake. For whose or for what’s sake? For something real or for something fake? Some say the heart is a lake Beneath its surface there swims a snake Your happiness is at stake And yet all you seem to do is ache and ache. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
WORDS WORTH LITTLE
What are words worth On this lonely earth? Actions seem more honest But they also lie the best. You don’t know what to believe - Even silence too can deceive. Only what you intuitively perceive Will in the end be your reprieve. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
SELF-CONTROL
There are some you don’t take, Even when they make themselves available, For heaven’s and your dignity‘s sake - Pleasure today will tomorrow be regrettable. The line you draw will be your lifeline, A line as high and thick as it is invisible and fine. The gap you maintain will maintain your pride; If you cross it, shame will become the great divide. Some things it’s better not to do, Not because of what you’ll gain or not gain, But because of what it will take from you; It can’t be repaired by even the deepest pain. Honour makes a nation And integrity makes a state - The day you learn to resist temptation Is the day you become great. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
I DREAM EVERY TIME I FALL ASLEEP
I dream every time I fall asleep And it’s always one adventure or the other; Conversations with beloveds I keep, My best friend, my father, my brother, And strangers too with whom I laugh and weep And fight and love and comfort one another; The dangers are real, the emotions are deep, Every fear, every tear, every worry and bother; At times I weightless fly, or I burdened creep, Through encounters that liberate or smother, But I’m always conscious even in the Deep, As awake as a baby born out of its mother. For I have vows to keep and sowed seeds to reap - And before it gets lighter it will get darker - And miles to go and never really sleep. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
A LITTLE HAPPY EVERYDAY
Sometimes you love someone, but the person loves someone else. Or the person simply prefers a lifestyle different from the one which a life with you would have to offer them. So they choose or go after someone else who, or another path that, can offer them that lifestyle.
Being that the aim, the very aim, of life itself is Happiness, this experience of rejection cuts to the very heart of the essence of existence. The hurt can kill the soul. It makes people reappraise themselves, question their worth and even find fault in their own fundamental character. Yet, while self-examination is healthy, so also are self-love, self-understanding and self-acceptance equally necessary.
When trapped in a spiral of self-abnegation in which one no longer recognises oneself, It then becomes imperative to awaken, within one’s consciousness, a new narrative of life and of self in order to find the path to a new source of joy, as a new person. To outgrow the self-image that traps one in a cycle of pain, perhaps even to shed certain traits, and to learn to see oneself, one’s path and one’s Why with fresh new eyes. To find a new understanding of the purpose of life.
This is where the concept of never giving up comes into play. Every morning when you wake up, strive for joy. Be prepared to let go of those thoughts and those beliefs that weigh you down debilitatingly. Be ready and able every day to try a new path, a new thought, until you find the exit – and then you can take flight again.
Life is a jigsaw puzzle. Many parts fit, but many parts don’t fit also. And you have to move the pieces about in your heart and in your life continuously, often, and courageously in order to slowly put your answers together.
And, as you stride on along this way, try… try to be a little happy every day. In the end, that’s all you have. That’s all we have to share with one another. That is our humanity.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
HURT
Love hurts. Life hurts. People hurt. People hurt people. And hurt people hurt people. And when it hurts too much People begin to avoid the touch The inner touch Sometimes they permit the outer touch But only perfunctorily as such Because even it hurts too much. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
TRUST, BROKEN
Trust, broken.
Thoughts, woken.
Hurt, spoken.
Touch, token.
Unpreparable.
It comes from the one you don’t expect.
Unrepairable.
You’ll never again be able to not suspect.
Healing is an intellectual token
Once the trust has been broken.
Only the spirit can find a new rhyme
In its own way, in its own time.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river
COMPLICATED
They will hurt you It’s what they do When they feel attracted to you. Do they love you? It’s hard to say. Do they hate you? It’s hard to say. What they feel is hard to explain But it will cause you pain. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
Che Chidi Chukwumerije 