All the things I thought would kill me, Didn’t kill me. But they sure did hurt… They hurt like hell for a long time - But they didn’t kill me. They made me wiser, stronger and sadder; But in the end I’m still me. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
Of Dark Feelings
TRUTH IS THE REFEREE OF TRUST
Truth is the referee of trust. Truth and truthfulness, not perfection. Nobody is perfect and everybody does wrong sometimes or makes mistakes. Trust does not hinge on perfection and it cannot do so. Trust hinges on truth and truthfulness. You trust people, not because they are perfect, but because they are honest to you.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
DON’T RUN
I don’t run from the pain. I hold it inside until it hurts no more. That’s how I deal with it. Time is irrelevant, because time stands still. Only experiencing, internalisation, transformation and growth are important. And once those have taken place, the aching melts, the pain stops hurting, drops off and goes away – but not before giving me all its energy and all its wisdom; and awakening in me the capacity to take in bigger worlds tomorrow, and the Newness to love again another day. But above all, it reboots my spirit and re-ignites in me the Childlikeness to one day trust again with a healed heart. But with more circumspection and attention to detail next time.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
WE EXPECT MORE FROM SEX
We expect more from sex than it can give. And when it fails to give it, we take more and more and more of it, demanding with even more intensity and urgency from it that which it is unable to give. Unable to give because, no matter how deep and intimate it is, in the end it’s still just sex. It can never fulfil your soul. And the real you, the human spirit, is in the soul. There is a depth of unhappiness that it cannot fill, a height of joy it cannot reach. There is a fineness and exactness of intimate connection which sex can only crudely attempt to approximate without being able to fill the gaps.
The gaps that sincerity can fill; the gaps that honesty can bridge; the gaps that integrity can close; the gaps that trust can repair; the gaps that homogeneity can make disappear; the gaps that reliability can heal; the gaps that a shared Ideal and a common goal can plug; the gaps that working together can eliminate; the gaps that intimate truthful conversations can undo; the gaps that a harmonisation of thinking and intuiting can cure. All the gaps that the best sex in the world cannot fill. No matter how often and creatively we try to find the fulfilment therein.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
WOUNDED TERRAIN
I‘m riding on the train And riding through my pain When I’m done if I’m still sane I won’t come this way again. The experience is a strain On my heart and on my brain Riding through wounded terrain Where my trust was slain. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
I FEEL DEEPLY
I feel things very deeply If only people knew I climb or fall very steeply Intuition is my cue A trigger is enough for a crash A crash is enough for a lifetime A lifetime is not enough, it’s just a flash Among many flashes on a timeline Of deeper inner feelings And deeper inner healings. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
NICE PEOPLE LIE TOO
Nice people lie too And when they do They defend it with determination For fear of losing their reputation. Once you start with a lie You have no choice But to continue to deny Using your false voice And you become hard And you become cold And you put up your guard And you grow old It was worth it, I guess, To have wrongly said Yes - It would be sad to have killed your soul For nothing, and miss your true goal. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
FORGET IT
How humility can guide you To find yourself if you let it - How anger can ride you To death if you won’t forget it - Forget it, it’s done and gone, Your pain is the healing kind - When you lost her, you won A deeper heart, a higher mind. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
BE HONEST WITH PEOPLE UPFRONT
Be honest with people upfront. Because they are giving you their all, hoping you will accept it and believing you are the one. If you know you are not available for them or they are not what you seek, don’t let them plant their garden in your backyard and enjoy their fruits for a while before brutally uprooting them when you’ve had enough, or when they now want to enter the house, or when the one or thing you really want shows up. You cause a deep pain in the universe and open a wound in their hearts that will bleed for lifetimes thereafter. Be honest with people upfront. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Don’t say things you don’t mean or that aren’t REALLY real. If it’s not what you really want or if you’re not really sure, say it truthfully, keep your distance or break it off at once. You will gain a friend, and respect, for life, down the line.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
THAT KIND OF LOVE
How can someone Love someone so much? Is it possible? Once upon A time there was such. And betrayal couldn’t make the love go away, It only opened a wound that would forever stay And questions yearning to find answers some day. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
Che Chidi Chukwumerije 