I dream every time I fall asleep And it’s always one adventure or the other; Conversations with beloveds I keep, My best friend, my father, my brother, And strangers too with whom I laugh and weep And fight and love and comfort one another; The dangers are real, the emotions are deep, Every fear, every tear, every worry and bother; At times I weightless fly, or I burdened creep, Through encounters that liberate or smother, But I’m always conscious even in the Deep, As awake as a baby born out of its mother. For I have vows to keep and sowed seeds to reap - And before it gets lighter it will get darker - And miles to go and never really sleep. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
Of Dark Feelings
A LITTLE HAPPY EVERYDAY
Sometimes you love someone, but the person loves someone else. Or the person simply prefers a lifestyle different from the one which a life with you would have to offer them. So they choose or go after someone else who, or another path that, can offer them that lifestyle.
Being that the aim, the very aim, of life itself is Happiness, this experience of rejection cuts to the very heart of the essence of existence. The hurt can kill the soul. It makes people reappraise themselves, question their worth and even find fault in their own fundamental character. Yet, while self-examination is healthy, so also are self-love, self-understanding and self-acceptance equally necessary.
When trapped in a spiral of self-abnegation in which one no longer recognises oneself, It then becomes imperative to awaken, within one’s consciousness, a new narrative of life and of self in order to find the path to a new source of joy, as a new person. To outgrow the self-image that traps one in a cycle of pain, perhaps even to shed certain traits, and to learn to see oneself, one’s path and one’s Why with fresh new eyes. To find a new understanding of the purpose of life.
This is where the concept of never giving up comes into play. Every morning when you wake up, strive for joy. Be prepared to let go of those thoughts and those beliefs that weigh you down debilitatingly. Be ready and able every day to try a new path, a new thought, until you find the exit – and then you can take flight again.
Life is a jigsaw puzzle. Many parts fit, but many parts don’t fit also. And you have to move the pieces about in your heart and in your life continuously, often, and courageously in order to slowly put your answers together.
And, as you stride on along this way, try… try to be a little happy every day. In the end, that’s all you have. That’s all we have to share with one another. That is our humanity.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
HURT
Love hurts. Life hurts. People hurt. People hurt people. And hurt people hurt people. And when it hurts too much People begin to avoid the touch The inner touch Sometimes they permit the outer touch But only perfunctorily as such Because even it hurts too much. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
TRUST, BROKEN
Trust, broken.
Thoughts, woken.
Hurt, spoken.
Touch, token.
Unpreparable.
It comes from the one you don’t expect.
Unrepairable.
You’ll never again be able to not suspect.
Healing is an intellectual token
Once the trust has been broken.
Only the spirit can find a new rhyme
In its own way, in its own time.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river
COMPLICATED
They will hurt you It’s what they do When they feel attracted to you. Do they love you? It’s hard to say. Do they hate you? It’s hard to say. What they feel is hard to explain But it will cause you pain. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
GOLD’S LOW STANDARDS
Who decided that gold is the standard? Why do we think it is so valuable? A shiny metal. Can we eat it? Yet we bombard Humankind with unkind mined metal unable To nourish spirit or body or soul or even mind - But greed needs a rampart for greed is blind And money is the mockery of the honest grind. Silver and gold have brought sorrow untold To the timid and the bold, the young and the old, Warm-blooded and cold-hearted who all departed Without a dust of gold from the path they started Upon, seeking value in materialism’s charms And losing their value in materialism’s arms’ Creeping stranglehold that grins and harms. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
THE LONG FALL
The thing which if kissed will bring you the wildest happiness Is the thing which if missed will bring you the deepest sadness The higher you did fly The longer you will fall down Until you hit the ground And instantaneously die. It is not the final impact that hurts but the long excruciatingly long fall unable to reverse or arrest or accelerate the moment that will end it all. A time of remembering A time of regretting A time of wishful extrapolating And never forgetting. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
WHAT YOU FELT YOU WOULD FEEL
When the worst happens, The thing you fear the most, A strange thing happens: Your fear becomes a ghost. It was never real, It was imagination, It was expectation - What you felt you would feel. But aren’t we spirit? Pain is the hand That forces us to grow and to understand There’s nothing ‘twixt the sea and the sand That can’t be healed by spirit’s magic wand. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
I’M FINE
How are you today?I’m still hurting from yesterday I don’t know what to say I’m very sad even when I play Lord, heal my broken heart, I pray I’m lost, I can’t find the way… - I’m fine, thank you And you? Thank you I’m fine too. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
REJECTION
When people reject you They don’t realise they’ve done you a favour; You can move on from the rejected you And metamorphose into a higher nature. Had they accepted you You would have remained the old creature In that lower state unaware that you Could have activated this new extra feature That has deepened, strengthened, elevated you. Rejection is ejection into motion, An injection of self-reflection Towards redemption and transformation. An injunction to move, and motivation To self-improve in a new direction With grit, with purpose, and with intention. On the path towards self-realisation and self-actualisation, every new rejection Is another tiny course-correction. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
Che Chidi Chukwumerije 