All the things I thought would kill me, Didn’t kill me. But they sure did hurt… They hurt like hell for a long time - But they didn’t kill me. They made me wiser, stronger and sadder; But in the end I’m still me. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
Of Desire
WE EXPECT MORE FROM SEX
We expect more from sex than it can give. And when it fails to give it, we take more and more and more of it, demanding with even more intensity and urgency from it that which it is unable to give. Unable to give because, no matter how deep and intimate it is, in the end it’s still just sex. It can never fulfil your soul. And the real you, the human spirit, is in the soul. There is a depth of unhappiness that it cannot fill, a height of joy it cannot reach. There is a fineness and exactness of intimate connection which sex can only crudely attempt to approximate without being able to fill the gaps.
The gaps that sincerity can fill; the gaps that honesty can bridge; the gaps that integrity can close; the gaps that trust can repair; the gaps that homogeneity can make disappear; the gaps that reliability can heal; the gaps that a shared Ideal and a common goal can plug; the gaps that working together can eliminate; the gaps that intimate truthful conversations can undo; the gaps that a harmonisation of thinking and intuiting can cure. All the gaps that the best sex in the world cannot fill. No matter how often and creatively we try to find the fulfilment therein.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
A PART OF YOU
Sometimes a part of you Can live outside of you And run away from you And refuse to come back to you And will ignore you And will not recognise you And will reject you And will hurt you And will avoid you Because the reason why It is living outside of you Is in order to find itself And fully become itself Through struggle, experiencing and reflection Uninfluenced by you In order to one day be able To complement you And be complemented by you. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
FOR INTIMACY
Attraction is not enough Seduction is not enough Arousal is not enough Being turned on is not enough Being in the mood is not enough Horniness is not enough Boredom is not enough Playfulness is not enough Liking a lot is not enough Friendship is not enough A craving need is not enough Curiosity is not enough Propensity is not enough And even love is not enough Not any longer - I need the deepest inner feeling That’s compatible and stronger In sync with spiritual healing. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
HEARTS NEED TIME
The heart needs a long time To understand that someone is gone. Decades after the death bells chime, The heart still waits for the loved one To come back home. The heart needs a long time Because hearts are built for eternity. Loving is more violent than crime, You’ll be sentenced to immortality As you wander and roam Trying to come back home. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
BE HONEST WITH PEOPLE UPFRONT
Be honest with people upfront. Because they are giving you their all, hoping you will accept it and believing you are the one. If you know you are not available for them or they are not what you seek, don’t let them plant their garden in your backyard and enjoy their fruits for a while before brutally uprooting them when you’ve had enough, or when they now want to enter the house, or when the one or thing you really want shows up. You cause a deep pain in the universe and open a wound in their hearts that will bleed for lifetimes thereafter. Be honest with people upfront. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Don’t say things you don’t mean or that aren’t REALLY real. If it’s not what you really want or if you’re not really sure, say it truthfully, keep your distance or break it off at once. You will gain a friend, and respect, for life, down the line.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
REAFFIRMING DIGNITY
When a woman leaves a man who loves her to follow a man of money, it is the most crushing pain a man can feel. But if he does not let it kill him, it will only liberate him in the end. Every once in a while you have a chance to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself “I am somebody”. Something will push you there. Something that seems aimed at robbing you of your dignity, your pride, your self-respect. Something that will try to tie your actual value as a human being to some material status or achievement or level of acceptance by someone or some people. Something that will make you feel small. And nothing does this deeper than love that chooses money over you. Then you have to stand in front of the mirror and look into the soul of that man staring back at you and recognise his true value. Remind yourself of the principles at the core of your foundations as a Human Being. Remind yourself of what connects you to God and to true life. And teach yourself again that your value is more than your monetary wealth or material standing. And don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise – not any man and not any woman. Because, In Your Dignity, You Are Somebody.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
LOVE AND PAIN
Why is there so much hurt in this world? Why is it hard for people to join hearts without causing each other pain? Why is pain an unavoidable component of love and of togetherness? Is the human spirit really incapable of honest, pure, harmonious, mature love?
The people that love you are the people you will hurt, and they are the people that will hurt you the deepest and the most. And yet you cannot stop loving and you cannot stop loving them. Nor they you.
Who has ever found happiness on earth without it being laced with anguish and spiked with periodic doses of lacerating pain? If you haven’t found this, then you’ve never felt love yet. Because you can never find the love without the pain.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
WITHOUT YOU
The people you expect to be there Are farthest away when you need them near The beautiful world is barren and bare Without you. I need you here To share with me my hope and fear And marvel at the sunsets rare And be my sunrise and midnight clear. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
THE HEART’S INDEPENDNECE
Your Heart is an independent being, Don’t mess with it or it will show you pepper. All the wahala you think you’ve been seeing Will be yam when it shows you real shege. It will riot and refuse to obey you; It will sing praise songs to your enemies; It will believe things that are not true And long for its own self-decided remedies. It will turn into a wild unpredictable stranger With its own rules and on its own mission; It will rush forward and fear no danger, Driven by its own incomprehensible Vision. And when it hurts it will burn like hellfire; And when it laughs, you feel you’re in paradise; And when it loves it loves with fierce desire; But if it dies, your urge to live also dies. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
Che Chidi Chukwumerije 