Of Inner States

REAFFIRMING DIGNITY

~ Che ~ Leave a comment

When a woman leaves a man who loves her to follow a man of money, it is the most crushing pain a man can feel. But if he does not let it kill him, it will only liberate him in the end. Every once in a while you have a chance to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself “I am somebody”. Something will push you there. Something that seems aimed at robbing you of your dignity, your pride, your self-respect. Something that will try to tie your actual value as a human being to some material status or achievement or level of acceptance by someone or some people. Something that will make you feel small. And nothing does this deeper than love that chooses money over you. Then you have to stand in front of the mirror and look into the soul of that man staring back at you and recognise his true value. Remind yourself of the principles at the core of your foundations as a Human Being. Remind yourself of what connects you to God and to true life. And teach yourself again that your value is more than your monetary wealth or material standing. And don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise – not any man and not any woman. Because, In Your Dignity, You Are Somebody.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

DON’T GET LOST IN THE DARK

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Don’t get lost in the dark
Wait for the mist to clear
The emotions never speak the truth
They are always informed and biased by feelings
You just have to wait for the mist to clear
It takes a shorter or longer time to pass
Depending on your nature
And depending on the circumstances
Just don’t get lost in the dark.

Azuka Chukwumerije

LOVE AND PAIN

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Why is there so much hurt in this world? Why is it hard for people to join hearts without causing each other pain? Why is pain an unavoidable component of love and of togetherness? Is the human spirit really incapable of honest, pure, harmonious, mature love?

The people that love you are the people you will hurt, and they are the people that will hurt you the deepest and the most. And yet you cannot stop loving and you cannot stop loving them. Nor they you.

Who has ever found happiness on earth without it being laced with anguish and spiked with periodic doses of lacerating pain? If you haven’t found this, then you’ve never felt love yet. Because you can never find the love without the pain.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

SWAN SONG

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Always remember one thing
If it’s true love it can’t move on overnight
It has to close its ring
Heal its wound, acquire new insight
And make the heart a swan-song sing.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

WITHOUT YOU

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The people you expect to be there
Are farthest away when you need them near
The beautiful world is barren and bare
Without you. I need you here
To share with me my hope and fear
And marvel at the sunsets rare
And be my sunrise and midnight clear.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

ORIENTATION

~ Che ~ Leave a comment 
Don’t get used to the exhilaration,
It is a bubble that will soon burst
To be followed by the long deprivation
And the unbroken thirst.

Get used to the soberness instead,
It will stay for longer than you hope
And will be your daily bread
With which you have to daily cope.

I try not to yearn for the happiness,
But the heart is treacherous;
Unbidden it feels a new tenderness -
This happens to all of us.

And there are some pains you prepare for -
They will always come, come back to you,
For once upon a time it was you who tore
It out of your heart and gave it a job to do.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

ROSES OF GRACE

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It’s only by the grace and power of God that we are able to forgive some people. But we are. For the sake of our own inner peace and soul health. We are. Because we want to. And we receive the help to do so. Help to be free of hatred, free of anger, free of bitterness and, eventually, free of hurting and pain.

Sometimes my emotions feel like flowers and today I am full of roses. Love is a strange medicine. It hurts when it heals, and it caresses and brings pleasure when it is actually causing damage. Don’t assume all is well simply because someone is smiling. When they’re crying is usually when they’re most honest and healthy and in the process of healing.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

EACH ONE HEAL ONE

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We all have that one person who we don’t like to think of, but who we also never forget. That one person, the thought of whom causes us so much pain and anger. That one person who hurt us, or deceived us, or betrayed us, or belittled us and made us feel so small, or took advantage of us, or kicked us when we were down and weak, or made a fool of us, or stole what was precious from us, or led us astray, or lied against us, or harmed us.Maybe it was that one person who we trusted deeply and who betrayed this trust. That one person who left a permanent scar in our heart. We all have that one person who we don’t like to think about but who we also never forget.

And that person also has the one person who they don’t like to think about but who they also never forget. And so it goes round and round in a circle, and we are all locked and connected in a net of pain and disappointment and bitterness and betrayal and memory and hurt. And regret. No one is spared, no one is innocent, no one is free of pain or of guilt. We are the ones who teach each other the lessons of life and of the vagaries of the human heart. We are all we have. Those that hurt you and those that harm you and those that heal you and those that hug you and those that have you are all the same people. Everybody has touched somebody. And everybody has been touched by somebody. Each one hurt one. Each one heal one. Forgive, and move on.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

YEAR OF ACHING

~ Che ~ Leave a comment 
What a difference a year can make
Depending on the path you take
The pillars you shake
The bonds you break
The demons or the angels you wake
And the thirsts you slake.

For whose or for what’s sake?
For something real or for something fake?
Some say the heart is a lake
Beneath its surface there swims a snake
Your happiness is at stake
And yet all you seem to do is ache and ache.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

THE HEART’S INDEPENDNECE

~ Che ~ Leave a comment 
Your Heart is an independent being,
Don’t mess with it or it will show you pepper.
All the wahala you think you’ve been seeing
Will be yam when it shows you real shege.
It will riot and refuse to obey you;
It will sing praise songs to your enemies;
It will believe things that are not true
And long for its own self-decided remedies.
It will turn into a wild unpredictable stranger
With its own rules and on its own mission;
It will rush forward and fear no danger,
Driven by its own incomprehensible Vision.
And when it hurts it will burn like hellfire;
And when it laughs, you feel you’re in paradise;
And when it loves it loves with fierce desire;
But if it dies, your urge to live also dies.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river