Of Love

TRUTH AS INTIMACY

~ Che ~ Leave a comment

The greatest Act of love and respect I can show a human being is to tell the person the truth. There is nothing worse I can do to you, or you can do to me, than to tell each other a lie or withhold the truth from one another when one asks for it. I don’t know about you, but I need truth like a drug and a medicine between me and the people close to me. It is everything. No matter what that truth is, I don’t really care. Even if it is a truth that will hurt me, disgust me, break me, shock me, kill me, withholding it from me or lying to me about it will put me in a worse hell and deeper anguish when I find out or if I sense it. If you’re close to me, don’t lie to me. My respect for you is more greatly diminished by dishonesty than by whatever it is you did that you’re trying to hide from me. Truth bonds me strongly to love.

Truthfulness is the deepest form of intimacy that I understand. If you are close to me and I am close to you, then just know this and be prepared for it: I will not lie to you. I will tell you the truth. If you don’t want to hear the truth, then don’t ask me. I can’t lie to the people I love. If I lie to you, if I withhold the truth from you (unless I’m doing it temporarily until we’re in a place and moment I can tell you), then it means that you are not close to me. And, conversely, if you lie to me, if you withhold the truth from me, then to me it means that you don’t or no longer love me or I’m not close to your heart. Some people think it’s the opposite: they withhold painful truths from the person they love, so as not to hurt the person. But if you do that to me, then it’s either you don’t really love me or you actually want to hurt me down the line.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

UNTIL IT HAPPENS

~ Che ~ Leave a comment 
You think it matters
Until it happens
And then you realise
It doesn’t really matter

You think it kills
Until it happens
And then you realise
It only hurts for a while
And then it disappears.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

SUDDEN JOLTS

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I cry spontaneous tears
They come unbidden
Rolling back adult years
All of a sudden
The wounds, the tears
A shuddering bolt
And a painful spasm
Of old fears and new cares
That repeatedly scars
Anew my heart with a volt
Of shivering behind cold
Iron intangible bars
A body-wracking jolt
And then the next moment
I quietly laugh again
Grateful and content
To reap my fruits in pain
I don’t know when
The tears will come again
At 2 o’clock or at 10
In a meeting, at a game, or on a plane
Or taking a walk in the friend zone
Or sitting at home all alone.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

REAFFIRMING DIGNITY

~ Che ~ Leave a comment

When a woman leaves a man who loves her to follow a man of money, it is the most crushing pain a man can feel. But if he does not let it kill him, it will only liberate him in the end. Every once in a while you have a chance to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself “I am somebody”. Something will push you there. Something that seems aimed at robbing you of your dignity, your pride, your self-respect. Something that will try to tie your actual value as a human being to some material status or achievement or level of acceptance by someone or some people. Something that will make you feel small. And nothing does this deeper than love that chooses money over you. Then you have to stand in front of the mirror and look into the soul of that man staring back at you and recognise his true value. Remind yourself of the principles at the core of your foundations as a Human Being. Remind yourself of what connects you to God and to true life. And teach yourself again that your value is more than your monetary wealth or material standing. And don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise – not any man and not any woman. Because, In Your Dignity, You Are Somebody.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

LOVE AND PAIN

~ Che ~ Leave a comment

Why is there so much hurt in this world? Why is it hard for people to join hearts without causing each other pain? Why is pain an unavoidable component of love and of togetherness? Is the human spirit really incapable of honest, pure, harmonious, mature love?

The people that love you are the people you will hurt, and they are the people that will hurt you the deepest and the most. And yet you cannot stop loving and you cannot stop loving them. Nor they you.

Who has ever found happiness on earth without it being laced with anguish and spiked with periodic doses of lacerating pain? If you haven’t found this, then you’ve never felt love yet. Because you can never find the love without the pain.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

SWAN SONG

~ Che ~ Leave a comment 
Always remember one thing
If it’s true love it can’t move on overnight
It has to close its ring
Heal its wound, acquire new insight
And make the heart a swan-song sing.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

WITHOUT YOU

~ Che ~ Leave a comment 
The people you expect to be there
Are farthest away when you need them near
The beautiful world is barren and bare
Without you. I need you here
To share with me my hope and fear
And marvel at the sunsets rare
And be my sunrise and midnight clear.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

ROSES OF GRACE

~ Che ~ Leave a comment

It’s only by the grace and power of God that we are able to forgive some people. But we are. For the sake of our own inner peace and soul health. We are. Because we want to. And we receive the help to do so. Help to be free of hatred, free of anger, free of bitterness and, eventually, free of hurting and pain.

Sometimes my emotions feel like flowers and today I am full of roses. Love is a strange medicine. It hurts when it heals, and it caresses and brings pleasure when it is actually causing damage. Don’t assume all is well simply because someone is smiling. When they’re crying is usually when they’re most honest and healthy and in the process of healing.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

WHERE THE HEART BELONGS

~ Che ~ 2 Comments

Someone who doesn’t take you with both hands, willingly and eagerly and totally, that person is not your home, nor you theirs. No matter how much it hurts, tear yourself away from them and move on.

Wounds heal with time.

We live in two worlds simultaneously. The one world is politics and society, is work and recreation, is projects and ambitions and all kinds of responsibilities, is ideologies, and is even family too sometimes. This is the one world, in which we chase achievements.

But there is another world in which we also live. It is deeper, is more subtle, more intense, quieter, and often very invisible. It is the loves that come and go; the tears and longings that burn our hearts; the seldom laughter of genuine joy; the raw friendships; the secret passionate love affairs; the intimately guarded happy home; the given trust and the broken trust; it is the real us deep inside.

We live in these two worlds simultaneously. And then time passes, and we die. And our obituary is full of what we did in the one world. While all our memories from the other world depart with us quietly in our hearts. And in the hearts of those who shared it with us.

Wounds will heal with time. But, while you’re on that journey, don’t go to where your heart does not belong. Seek your happiness in being true to yourself, always.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

ONCE YOU TASTE TRUE LOVE

~ Che ~ Leave a comment 
Once you taste true love
Lust becomes a mechanical chore
Pleasure is no longer enough
You want something more.

You learn to recognise the grain
And separate it from the chaff -
You want to feel that joy again
You want your heart to laugh.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river