THAT KIND OF LOVE

How can someone
Love someone so much?
Is it possible? Once upon
A time there was such.

And betrayal couldn’t make the love go away,
It only opened a wound that would forever stay
And questions yearning to find answers some day.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

JUST ONCE

There are things that other people can do a hundred times and get away with it. But if you do it just once, you will get caught or it will stay with you for the rest of your life. If another person doesn’t catch you, your conscience catches you and makes you pay for it from that moment until the day you die. To stop it you’ll have to kill your conscience, in which case you die a deeper death. So, in order to live, you have to live with it. You have no choice but to bear it and mature through it. Just for something you did just once.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

THE GAMES WE PLAY

These games that we play, and think it’s just fun, they can really damage people. And by the time we start to suspect the damage we have done and start to pull back, it’s already too late and the victims are left reeling and wounded for the rest of their lives or for a very long time afterwards. These games of hearts, of love and sex, and of adventures, of selfish desires and of fun.

Sometimes we think we’re just expressing ourselves, or just seeking the meaning of life, or just getting out of life everything that it has to offer, or just doing what “everybody else” does, or just living life to the full, or just making sure we don’t die one day with regrets in our hearts of the things we left undone, or simply assuaging our own personal propensities, or even getting back at someone, or maybe trying to experience for ourselves how something feels, or just having some harmless fun.

I used to think that the things I would one day regret the most are the things I left undone, the opportunities I missed because I did not try to get them. But now I realise that the pain and regret that comes from doing certain things is even worse, and is real, and stays with you. You can’t run away from them because it is real and something you actually did. And all the apologies in the world has not made them go away. The only consolation, if any, is that your heart has learned a deep lesson that should, hopefully, make you a better person for the rest of this life and also in your subsequent reincarnations on Earth. Hearts hurt for a very long time.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

FAKE

Dull ache

Mistake

Deep fake

Heartbreak.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

ASSUMPTION IS THE FILTER OF CONSCIOUSNESS

Realising you’ve been deceived
Is very hard to believe
Because it looked so real
How it made you feel
But that is the first rule of deception
It must never look like deception
When you look at a wolf clothed as a sheep
You don’t see a wolf clothed as a sheep
You see a sheep. Everything around you
Could be a cover created to confound you.
Our wishes, insecurities, vanities, memories,
Propensities - they all block our senses.
Assumption is the filter of consciousness.
Worse, presumption. Everything is a dress,
And who or what is wearing each dress
You will learn by experience as you progress.
But as you become more knowledgeable
You ironically also become more gullible.
You are stunned, as you learn and grow,
To realise there’s still so much you don’t know.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

TIME AND DEEDS

Only happiness can defeat sadness
Only honesty to oneself can defeat madness
Only goodness can defeat badness

Mirroring darkness is not our business
Rather for the Light we bear witness
And learn gradually to feel forgiveness

At a point words become meaningless
Whether we speak more or speak less
We’ll misunderstand each other nevertheless

Only time and deeds and steadfastness
Only consistency in human friendliness
Only self-control and gentlemanliness

Will grant our hearts again to each other access.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije 
Poems from the inner river

SMILE

Did you know that
Smiling makes you happy
When you’re feeling crappy?
Did you know that?

I bet you’re smiling now.
And if you were feeling crappy,
Now you’re feeling a little happy -
I bet you’re smiling now.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

THE DAY THE LAUGHTER CAME AGAIN

The day the laughter came again
I stood in shock and stared at it in awe
Like a stranger from a distant terrain
For I had forgotten to a tragic flaw
How laughter sounds and makes you feel.
It felt so good it made me want to cry;
The power of laughter and joy is real -
A heart that laughs purely will never die.

The day the laughter came again
I was at the lowest ebb of my life,
My soul wracked every day by pain,
Torn by questions and unresolved strife,
I woke up that morning and prayed to God,
then set out to bravely meet the day
And as I, work-focused, did onward plod,
Laughter came to me again along my way.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

WHAT WORDS CAN DO

I’ve learnt the hard way
What words can do
When I write or say
Them to you.

When I think you will read between the lines
You read the lines,
And when I think you will read the lines
You read between the lines.

Sometimes I think you will understand
That I don’t really mean what I’m saying,
But the words enter you and start to expand
And exact a price I will long be paying.

Because words carry life
And words carry meaning,
A word that cuts and kills like a knife
May not be corrected by a word of healing.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

UNTIL IT HAPPENS

You think it matters
Until it happens
And then you realise
It doesn’t really matter

You think it kills
Until it happens
And then you realise
It only hurts for a while
And then it disappears.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river