I‘ve died a thousand times And each time I’ve come back to life again If I die one more time Will I be able to survive this new pain? Something must break a man one day - Something he did say, or a game he did play, Or a woman that one day crosses his way. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
Of Relationships
SNIPPETS
Hard words are sometimes the kindest Foraging eyes are sometimes the blindest Life’s help is sometimes to put you to the test It pushes you to move when you long to rest I’ve never wanted something so badly before I’ve never eaten to my fill and still wanted some more I’ve never said goodbye and continued to feel so sore I’ve never been so trapped before in a folklore So many new things starting at the same time Be patient when you’re looking for the right rhyme Little doses of salt and pepper, curry and thyme Life is sometimes a little sugar, sometimes a little lime I love like Haily’s comet, ever and again I come again Laughter fills my heart again and conquers the pain I can’t explain it, I am a lake and I am the rain And so are you, and every end is just another refrain. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
THE MOST VULNERABLE THING
The most vulnerable thing in this world is to open up to a person, to show the person your secrets and your true condition. To share with the person your dreams, your hopes, your fears, your phobia, your trauma, your beliefs, your feelings, your propensities, your weaknesses, your childlikeness, your unprotected true nature.
When you have thus exposed yourself to a person, vulnerable to the core, and the person – after taking a good look at you – rejects or betrays you, and directly or indirectly communicates to you that they find you to be unworthy of them, the damage that this experience can cause to a human soul is almost beyond the purview of what words can accurately describe. It is exceedingly humiliating, dehumanising, and robs you of your sense of self-worth.
It also gives reason to ask yourself, if you too have ever done the same to another human being, maybe even without realising it, and maybe you have even forgotten it. If you have, then it pays to reflect on how to reach those people once more and offer them correction, retribution, a cure, or just true heartfelt apology and remorse for having broken their soul.
Most of all, though, it gives us an opportunity to reflect on the question of whether a human being’s sense of self-worth should at all be wholly or partly dependent on how they are seen or held or treated by another human being, probably one whom they love, or sometimes even a stranger. Or whether a human being’s sense of worth should be rooted only and solely in their own inner strength and inner dignity and Inner fidelity to their own core values. Or if it is a mixture of both extremes.
One thing is for sure, though, and that is that no matter how we see it, the reality is that even the strongest people are affected by how they are seen and treating by one person or the other, consciously or unconsciously, either a stranger or more commonly someone that they deeply love. No matter how we see it, we owe the duty to ourselves as human beings to be thoughtful, careful, honest – honest to ourselves and also honest to others – in order not to disappoint a valid expectation of reflected worthiness.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
TRUTH IS THE REFEREE OF TRUST
Truth is the referee of trust. Truth and truthfulness, not perfection. Nobody is perfect and everybody does wrong sometimes or makes mistakes. Trust does not hinge on perfection and it cannot do so. Trust hinges on truth and truthfulness. You trust people, not because they are perfect, but because they are honest to you.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
DON’T RUN
I don’t run from the pain. I hold it inside until it hurts no more. That’s how I deal with it. Time is irrelevant, because time stands still. Only experiencing, internalisation, transformation and growth are important. And once those have taken place, the aching melts, the pain stops hurting, drops off and goes away – but not before giving me all its energy and all its wisdom; and awakening in me the capacity to take in bigger worlds tomorrow, and the Newness to love again another day. But above all, it reboots my spirit and re-ignites in me the Childlikeness to one day trust again with a healed heart. But with more circumspection and attention to detail next time.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
TRUST IS
Trust is a thread
Is an earthenware pot
Is a glass cup
Do not break it.
Sow with it a garment of protection
Cook in it a meal of spiritual nutrition
Drink from it the water of eternal affection
And never break it.
It is hard to remake it.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river
A PART OF YOU
Sometimes a part of you Can live outside of you And run away from you And refuse to come back to you And will ignore you And will not recognise you And will reject you And will hurt you And will avoid you Because the reason why It is living outside of you Is in order to find itself And fully become itself Through struggle, experiencing and reflection Uninfluenced by you In order to one day be able To complement you And be complemented by you. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
WHEN I WAIT
When I wait, I wait for you When I go, I go to you When I stand, I stand with you What are you? When I live, I live in you When I die, I die because of you When I work, I work for you Who are you? When I remember, I remember you When I dream, I dream of you When I long, I long for you When are you? Why are you so present? Why are you so absent? Why are you so prescient? Why are you? Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
PEOPLE NEVER COME BACK
People never come back They move on to the new you Or to their new perception of you With or without you And you move on to the new them Or to your new perception of them With or without them But the old will never come back. Tomorrow will come. Those who try to cling on to the past Lose their way and orientation very fast Because Time never goes back. Those who meet again do so in the future As different people with a different Nature Because only going forward takes you back Home. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
ONE LOVE
You can only love one person, you can never love two people or even more. True love. In order to love another person, you have to first change and become a different person. But the person who loved that first person can never ever love another person. Once your heart has bonded, it can never ever unbond again, until it dies and becomes born again as a new heart.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
Che Chidi Chukwumerije 