BEING DIFFERENT

UNRAVELLING THE mystery that is my own soul, I pondered and sought; I wondered about my beginning. Woman and man in a garden. Which garden? East or west? Home is best, they say.

So I went home into my spirit-man and discovered an a different person dwelling within, staring back at me with my own face but not my own eyes.

“Different person,” I asked him, “Who are you and what are you doing inside my heart?”

But he only returned my gaze without giving an answer, and I sensed that I must find the answer myself. Myself? But who is myself?

The mystery took shape, deepened, arose. I wandered from pole to pole. But each time I thought I had found my goal, I saw the different person inside my heart again, looking back at me with my own face but not with my own eyes.

I wanted to scream, but my heart rejected this. I lay me down to sleep, but sleep ejected me. So on and on I wander and sojourn, on and on I go, seeking to unravel this mystery that is simply my very own self.

And each time I think I have found the answer, I see him again, a different person inside my soul, staring back at me with my face but not with my eyes.

Who are you, I wonder, you stranger in my soul?

What are you, why are you, so different, so alien, so silent, so bold?

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

CLOSED CYCLES

You start. I’m scared, my friend,
Of finding the floor with my feet first
They might lead me astray

Doubleback. The start is the end
Why quench your longing with a thirst
That might never go away?

It’s hard to move
When you move together
One has to receive, and one has to give
Together in opposite directions

Well I can’t prove
If we do or don’t belong together
But cycles close, something had to give
And unmasked all our pretensions.

Missed opportunities
Mixed opportunities.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.