THE GAMES WE PLAY

These games that we play, and think it’s just fun, they can really damage people. And by the time we start to suspect the damage we have done and start to pull back, it’s already too late and the victims are left reeling and wounded for the rest of their lives or for a very long time afterwards. These games of hearts, of love and sex, and of adventures, of selfish desires and of fun.

Sometimes we think we’re just expressing ourselves, or just seeking the meaning of life, or just getting out of life everything that it has to offer, or just doing what “everybody else” does, or just living life to the full, or just making sure we don’t die one day with regrets in our hearts of the things we left undone, or simply assuaging our own personal propensities, or even getting back at someone, or maybe trying to experience for ourselves how something feels, or just having some harmless fun.

I used to think that the things I would one day regret the most are the things I left undone, the opportunities I missed because I did not try to get them. But now I realise that the pain and regret that comes from doing certain things is even worse, and is real, and stays with you. You can’t run away from them because it is real and something you actually did. And all the apologies in the world has not made them go away. The only consolation, if any, is that your heart has learned a deep lesson that should, hopefully, make you a better person for the rest of this life and also in your subsequent reincarnations on Earth. Hearts hurt for a very long time.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

FAKE

Dull ache

Mistake

Deep fake

Heartbreak.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

ASSUMPTION IS THE FILTER OF CONSCIOUSNESS

Realising you’ve been deceived
Is very hard to believe
Because it looked so real
How it made you feel
But that is the first rule of deception
It must never look like deception
When you look at a wolf clothed as a sheep
You don’t see a wolf clothed as a sheep
You see a sheep. Everything around you
Could be a cover created to confound you.
Our wishes, insecurities, vanities, memories,
Propensities - they all block our senses.
Assumption is the filter of consciousness.
Worse, presumption. Everything is a dress,
And who or what is wearing each dress
You will learn by experience as you progress.
But as you become more knowledgeable
You ironically also become more gullible.
You are stunned, as you learn and grow,
To realise there’s still so much you don’t know.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

YEAR OF ACHING

What a difference a year can make
Depending on the path you take
The pillars you shake
The bonds you break
The demons or the angels you wake
And the thirsts you slake.

For whose or for what’s sake?
For something real or for something fake?
Some say the heart is a lake
Beneath its surface there swims a snake
Your happiness is at stake
And yet all you seem to do is ache and ache.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

WHY?

I cannot handle lies
like hot mounds of yam on a plate
smoking squinted eyes
thoughtfully tonguing open the gate
of questioning Whys
where Truth comes never or too late
to hear my heart’s cries.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije

Poems from the inner river

HUMAN HEART

Santa and Satan are spelled with the same letters.
I just noticed it, please don’t crucify me.
Just know there’s a thin line between the two.
Sometimes when you think you’re looking out through a window, you’re actually looking at a mirror.

Saw this picture and liked it.
Something is buried in your heart and it could be anything. It’s probably everything.
Some pains will stay forever – well, probably not forever. Until you change and forgive and let go. Or until you die, I mean really die. Even when you forget, still you feel the pain and don’t know why. And then you remember – but you still don’t know why you took that first wrong step into the future.

But when you look at the serpent well, sometimes it seems as if it’s rising up to strike or writhing in treachery and deception. And sometimes it feels as if it’s begging for help and crying for forgiveness and looking for redemption. But some unsuspecting fool will pass by and think they’re looking at a heart. But you know better. You know you’re looking at a warning.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

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NATURE OR PROPENSITY

For people who, by nature, are partner-faithful and relationship-loyal (I’m talking Sex here), there exists in their inside a great big Why when they observe how a person who they know really loves his/her partner with all his/her heart can have a sexual interchange with a third party – one time, or for a shorter or longer period, or intermittently – and yet remain totally committed to and in love with their chosen “permanent” partner. Is it a predisposition or a weakness?

It’s like a puzzle, a mystery that defies solution.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

FAMILY

Is it those that smile at you
Or those that frown at you?

Is it those with the same blood
flowing through their veins
Or those with the same thoughts
springing from their hearts?

Is it those who want nothing from you
even when they’re there
Or those who always want something from you
even when they’re not there?

Is it really a bound tree
With invisible tangled-up roots?
Or is it an open sea
Rolling freely in all directions?

Does the departed soul really stop and turn back
Or does it hurry away into another life?
Are all those who call themselves family
There to bind or to free each other?

Is protection sometimes limitation?
Is liberation sometimes abandonment?
Is a kiss sometimes an embracing of betrayal?
Is severity sometimes an anchorage of love?

Only the sincere should read your inner book.
Only the sincere should read your inner book.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

MONEY

Money markets
The feet are far from the heart
Don’t get me started
I’ll never stop abusing you
I just can’t get enough of you

Why am I crying, you say?
I’m crying because my heart is cold
I’m crying because I feel no pain
I’m crying because I’m dying
And I don’t care.

I just like having it, owning it
Taking it, but I’m crying.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

MASKS

I saw suddenly one day that there on our face is a mask. Strange, but it moved. It spoke. It smiled. It frowned. It scolded. And it watched the world obliquely.
And the last thing it will tell you is that it is a mask.
And only love can break into this mask and comprehend its bearer. And only love can break into this mask and be comprehended by its wearer.
And then to my horror I saw that every continent has its masks. Every race, every group and every face. But whoever is unmasked by love is masked by love.
And love can speak, can comprehend every tongue. And on the day we have all learned to speak the language of true love – respectful, selfless love – we shall have no more the need to mask our hearts anymore.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.