COURAGE AWAKENING

Shades of morning
Mantles of night ascending
Ghosts, like fears of the past,
Lay down softly to sleep at last.

Fear. Will whisper.
A thousand reasons to be a coward.
Until your inner man comes calling
The ground is so close
How come you’re still falling?

Beauty, soft kiss of dawn
Quietens you for a moment of tenderness
Before you shed your final skin
Of fear and pain
And stand up, never to crawl again.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

MIRAGES

So they faced me
If I was half a man, I would face them back
Good thing I was full man, not half
Or I would have fallen for the illusion
That you have to fight to be a man

So they turned away
If I had a little sense, I would beg for mercy
Good thing I had much sense, not a little
Or I would have fallen for the delusion
That you have to join the crowd to have a face

So they attacked the strangers
If I loved my kind, I would join in the attack
Good thing I loved humankind, not just my kind
Or I would have fallen for the mirage
That you have to hate strangers to love your own

The world is full of cynics
Who on earth still believes anything good?
Raise your hand in the air
And wave it like you just don’t care
If you really don’t care

There are many ways to fall asleep
Many ways to hide away
Many ways to deceive yourself into believing
Your mask is better than your face
Is better than yourself.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

YOUR OWN NOVEMBER

Those trees
Changing leaves
Changing their minds
Turning times

Redressing time
But there’s an hour when
Fear leaves
Turned red

Fall yellow, weak, finished, all said and dead.
Then you change your mind too
After the thoughts are fallen
Your fearlessness stands naked hard in the bolding cold

Do you fear your own freedom, your own self-dependence?
Are you afraid of your own courage?
November strips the brave of their cowardice
And the cowardly of their bravery.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

SENSE OF TASTE

There is no easy way
To walk through every valley
Without tasting any fruit
Without tasting any fruit

Propensity plays a gentle lute
Curiousity owns a magic flute
Temptation gnaws at your root
Intuition is loud, intuition is mute.

Who can know without taking a bite?
Who can grow without experiencing the night?
Some nights will yield the day
Some nights will kill the day

When does a want become a need?
When does a hunger morph into greed?
Is a sin a fruit or a seed?
A thought is sometimes worse than a deed.

There is a green hill far away
Your feet are confused: to go or to stay?
Who can walk through the valley of the root
Without tasting any fruit?

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

GROUPS OF US

How deep is homogeneity?
Does the colour of our skin
Express our similarity
Or mask the differences within?

How deep is nationality?
Does the passport we share
Stamp an ideological ethnicity
Or is it convenience out of fear?

Some plant gardens of roses
Some love lilies alone
Another meadow composes
A bouquet of everyone

Who can say rose gardens
Are prettier than plains
That lilies alone gladden,
Or a field that all contains?

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

THE DRUMS OF WAR ARE SOUNDING

The drums of war are sounding
The dead are readying to dance a dirge
Upon the graves of the living

Quarrelling woman to Solomon has spoken
If I won’t have world peace my way
Then tear the child to pieces

Those who crave world dominion
Are set to fight to the end to end
The culture of mixed opinions

The world grows dark with worry
And mothers clutch their babes to their breasts
And lovers fear what tomorrow will bring.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

MIX UP

White men complain
Of losing their women
Black women complain
Of losing their men

White women complain
Of losing their men
Asian men complain
Of losing their women…

From race to race
Place to place
Everyone is sure
Everyone is impure

I guess we’re all lost
I guess we’re all found
I guess we’re all free
I guess we’re all bound

I guess we all complain
I guess we’re all afraid
I guess we all know
How best to get laid.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

A LITTLE LAUGHTER

FASSEN DID not know that the three brothers were coming from a war-torn zone. Or, rather, he knew, he just did not understand exactly what that meant. No laughter, no trust, no carefreeness, no childlike play, no joyful working from a love-filled heart – only caution, suspicion, fear, brutality, cunning, callousness. Inner deadening, a certain death. All of which they wished to reverse, to overcome now. The crisis they were fleeing from was not a war-torn hell-hole they’d left behind on another geographical part of the earth. It was the torture they carried within them all the time now, the propensities, the emptiness, the loneliness and the struggle to keep the inner child alive. It was little things that made them happy now – shared chores, small friendships, acceptance. Fassen did not really see all that. All he saw in the three young men were just three guest-workers from the camp, to be treated like everybody else.

The eldest of the three, Mugi, had the deepest eyes, depths filled with pain. Eyes that had seen things their owner wanted to forget, but knew he never would. All that was left in him was the urge to take care of his brothers in a peace-filled world.

Fassen, however, did not understand all this. He was a good, clear-minded, clear-thinking, God-fearing young man who wanted to simply do his job. He was usually one of the last of the restaurant personal to go home each night after doing the dishes down in the basement kitchen.

He could not fathom why these three new cleaners, these brothers, after sweeping and cleaning the house and grounds each night, like to come and join in doing the mountain of dishes and other kitchen utensils. Of course things went much quicker, and there was added human company, but it was a mystery to him and to his colleague, Weller, whose job it was. They stared at one another, mystified, and shook their heads.

It was Mugi who had started it first. One night, he hesitated outside the door and thought of the long walk home in the strange darkness, of all the people out there who never spoke to him and his brothers, never even looked at them, looked away, moved away, subtly, whenever they were in the vicinity; and he thought of the two men in the basement kitchen who were always polite and nice to them. And he walked in silently while they were washing up and, quietly, asked if he could help them. They happily consented, glad to have an extra pair of hands to speed up the work. Then he came again the next night, and the next, and the next.

Fassen and Weller began to wonder. Mugi hardly spoke. He listened fully, almost desperately, to all their conversations, and rocked with laughter, even if hesitantly, when they cracked their funny jokes, but he himself made hardly any contributions, or seemed not to.

And then, one night, his two brothers came along with him. Even more ready, almost desperately so too, to laugh, and willing in addition, unlike Mugi, to crack their own jokes, tell their own stories and, joining in conversations, make new friends at last.

Why did they persist in coming here every night and turning their job into a roundly, albeit effective, circus? Fassen and Weller could not understand. Might there be a hidden motive? What did they actually want?

It was Fassen who first started to get irritated, and a little suspicious, after two weeks. Very irritated! A little wary. And of the opinion that this had to stop now. He spoke with Weller about it and after a little persuasion, the younger Weller eventually agreed. So, that night when the three brothers came, they politely – to the brothers’s startled surprise – denied them their now-customary wish.

“Too many cooks spoil the broth,” Fassen said with a shrug of his shoulders, looking up briefly as he dried a tumbler, an enigmatic half-smile on his face, his gaze watchful.

Nziko and Kama, Mugi’s two younger brothers, shrugged and nodded. They quickly rationalised it – it was true anyway. They only requested to join in one last time, since they were already there, which requested was grudgingly granted.

But Mugi did not request anymore. It was not Fassen’s words that had registered with him, but the look in his eyes as he spoke. There had been no hatred or malice there, perhaps, but then there had been no love too. Only a desire for safety and order, and boundries. And this desire for safety and order, and boundries, had temporarily blinded Fassen’s inner eyes to the desperate, momentary needs of fellow human hearts, blocked his view into an appreciation of simple friendliness. Mugi recognised here a lack of understanding for and of the depths of pain within his brothers and himself, of their longing and need for love, for carefree play, for a semblace of normalness, for contact, for a place where work is laughter, just a little laughter.

And because Mugi knew that Fassen was right, in accordance with his job, position, responsibility, and level of understanding of human beings, he did not argue, nor made he any further requests. He could not, even. He felt again like a stranger. He felt again many of those silent shifting feelings he wanted to forget, but knew that he would not. He felt again that pain which one feels when one is almost understood and then betrayed, when one needs just a little shoulder to rest a little head for a little while, but finds none… he felt again the character of loneliness.

So he smiled at Fassen, and would also have smiled at Weller if Weller had not averted his young eyes; then he went outside to wait for his brothers who were still attempting to snatch a little joyousness, still seeking a little laughter, companionship and joyful work with which to cure them their sorely wounded young souls.

And he thought of all the many lonely people walking undetected on earth, singly or in groups, who have also come from war-torn zones of whatever sort, physical or psychical, or both, and more, and who carry deep pains, badly healed scars within them, which nobody understands – and he prayed for them.

And, not long after he was through with his prayer, his two brothers emerged from out of the basement, finished here, and together the three of them walked through the cold night to their tiny apartment in the camp, their home. And, as they walked, they cracked jokes and laughed.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
From my collection of thoughts and short stories: amazon cover copy there is always something more 2015

START AGAIN

Start again
It was all a lie
Deceitful illusion
Full of grinning fools

Everybody looking worried
When a pin dropped
Yet nodding wisely their heads
When the world goes to war

They all fear the dawn
The end of the act
Wake up from your heaven
You’re living in hell

Just start again
Freed of illusions
Eyes opened wide…
And, yes, doubt the preacher too.

— CHE CHIDI CHUKWUMERIJE.

IN OUR DESERT

amazon cover copy there is always something more 2015
BIGOTRY CONTINUES to exist upon the face of the earth, but not within its heart. And just as skin-characteristics are skin-deep, so is bigotry only surface-deep. I’m talking about the face of the earth.

But anyone who nurtures bigotry within the heart will continue to nourish it for a long time yet to come. It will not die easily. Is there hope for the flower?

Should I revert to the tales of the heart? Should I revert to the inner sequence? Should I revert to yesterday’s tenderness? The first woman? The last kiss?

Or should I continue into the desert? Should I seek a new oasis and wander after the unknown treasures of the sand? But who can open up the secrets of the sand? A flower?

The first strike was a miss. The first step was the first fall. The first sight was blinded by a pitch-fork. But there will be a second. The second is the other side of the coin.

I want to write a poem. I want to penetrate deep into the heart of the broken home, there where the spirit in us resides. We are all to one another strangers. Bridges we build, communal words we use, eyes we touch when we will, hands we give, yet remain unto one another strangers. The shared blood was poisoned aye ere we were born. The shared earth was divided already long ago and divided we stand and stare at one another across the border, the boundaries of our little egos and remain each alone. But each is but alone. Little egos. Little worlds. Little by little, if watered, like flowers, perhaps, we grow.

The secrets of the sand, approaching, covering up our footsteps. Hey, I wrote this poem before, when I was young. But if I was young then, what am I now, older or younger? For the first poem was the greater and the latter flow gropes for reconnection with the source that thundered out of the young heart of the finalised decision. Seen once. Pondered once. Grasped once. Perceived once. Decided once. At the start of the journey. And everything else is just the hanging on, the wondering, the new search. We have found but have not yet reached the Goal. We are still on the path. Believing in the flower.

This is what I would like to give to you, a flower in the desert. Do not perhaps think that the Desert is more powerful than the flower. Nay. There you would err. But treasure and protect the flower. Water it anywhere you see it. For the flower alone, of all the forces in the universe, can subdue the Desert.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

Taken from my collection of thoughts and stories: “There Is Always Something More.”