DIE HARD

All the things I thought would kill me,
Didn’t kill me.
But they sure did hurt…
They hurt like hell for a long time -
But they didn’t kill me.
They made me wiser, stronger and sadder;
But in the end I’m still me.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

DON’T RUN

I don’t run from the pain. I hold it inside until it hurts no more. That’s how I deal with it. Time is irrelevant, because time stands still. Only experiencing, internalisation, transformation and growth are important. And once those have taken place, the aching melts, the pain stops hurting, drops off and goes away – but not before giving me all its energy and all its wisdom; and awakening in me the capacity to take in bigger worlds tomorrow, and the Newness to love again another day. But above all, it reboots my spirit and re-ignites in me the Childlikeness to one day trust again with a healed heart. But with more circumspection and attention to detail next time.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains

WOUNDED TERRAIN

I‘m riding on the train
And riding through my pain
When I’m done if I’m still sane
I won’t come this way again.

The experience is a strain
On my heart and on my brain
Riding through wounded terrain
Where my trust was slain.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU

People who love you,
Hurt on account of you.
But, for some reason,
It is those who don’t care
That you’re always pleasing
And trying to keep near.

I wish you so well
If I were a wishing well
You could daily draw
And daily drink to your fill
And when you withdraw
The forest becomes still.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

LOVE IS A PRISON

My only Crime was loving you
And loving you too much too
But If this is a crime
I’ve done my time
Release me
Ease me
Out
Tell me what it’s all about
An outer whisper, an inner shout
Free me from insecurity and doubt.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

FORGET IT

How humility can guide you
To find yourself if you let it -
How anger can ride you 
To death if you won’t forget it -

Forget it, it’s done and gone,
Your pain is the healing kind -
When you lost her, you won
A deeper heart, a higher mind.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

SMILE

Did you know that
Smiling makes you happy
When you’re feeling crappy?
Did you know that?

I bet you’re smiling now.
And if you were feeling crappy,
Now you’re feeling a little happy -
I bet you’re smiling now.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

THE DAY THE LAUGHTER CAME AGAIN

The day the laughter came again
I stood in shock and stared at it in awe
Like a stranger from a distant terrain
For I had forgotten to a tragic flaw
How laughter sounds and makes you feel.
It felt so good it made me want to cry;
The power of laughter and joy is real -
A heart that laughs purely will never die.

The day the laughter came again
I was at the lowest ebb of my life,
My soul wracked every day by pain,
Torn by questions and unresolved strife,
I woke up that morning and prayed to God,
then set out to bravely meet the day
And as I, work-focused, did onward plod,
Laughter came to me again along my way.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

SUDDEN JOLTS

I cry spontaneous tears
They come unbidden
Rolling back adult years
All of a sudden
The wounds, the tears
A shuddering bolt
And a painful spasm
Of old fears and new cares
That repeatedly scars
Anew my heart with a volt
Of shivering behind cold
Iron intangible bars
A body-wracking jolt
And then the next moment
I quietly laugh again
Grateful and content
To reap my fruits in pain
I don’t know when
The tears will come again
At 2 o’clock or at 10
In a meeting, at a game, or on a plane
Or taking a walk in the friend zone
Or sitting at home all alone.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Poems from the inner river

LOVE AND PAIN

Why is there so much hurt in this world? Why is it hard for people to join hearts without causing each other pain? Why is pain an unavoidable component of love and of togetherness? Is the human spirit really incapable of honest, pure, harmonious, mature love?

The people that love you are the people you will hurt, and they are the people that will hurt you the deepest and the most. And yet you cannot stop loving and you cannot stop loving them. Nor they you.

Who has ever found happiness on earth without it being laced with anguish and spiked with periodic doses of lacerating pain? If you haven’t found this, then you’ve never felt love yet. Because you can never find the love without the pain.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains