There are pains I could bear When I was younger Which I cannot bear Any longer When I was younger, I was tougher My heart could recover Now I’m older, I’m harder No longer a bender, now a breaker No longer a healer, now a hurter So I don’t engage Unnecessarily, I don’t bother I just turn a new page. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
pain
EVOLVING
Always absorb the pain And move on but resolve To one day love again - That’s how hearts evolve. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
DRAW YOUR SECOND BREATH
When I first came to Germany, I died, slowly and gradually. And - this is the worst part - I died alone, inside my heart. Some might say it is a death Akin to the planted seed That dissolves inside the earth En route to being freed; Freed from the past and the old - The path to growth into the new. But death is empty, dark, cold. And lonely. I never knew. There is a path that leads back to life; Beware - it is more painful than death And it too with loneliness is rife From which will emerge your second breath. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
THE THOUGHTS THAT ATTACH
I‘m looking for the pain I can’t find it in all its usual hiding places I go inside, check again the box of fears, the memory full spaces But I can’t find the rain. Letting go of the thoughts that attach Not every perfect catch is a perfect match I cannot find the pain. Che Chidi Chukwumerije
LIKE A FLOWER THINKS OF THE SUN
Think of forgiveness Like a flower thinks of the sun With gratitude nonetheless For a story time once upon For pain is the power to bless Forevermore for if ever done Let anguish be my shorn redress Torn away, for Done! is foregone Revenge and mercy both make a mess But mercy makes the earthier one. Che Chidi Chukwumerije
TAKE YOUR PAIN
Take your pain Don’t run from it Again and again Welcome it You will gain From the purge And after the rain A new you will emerge. Che Chidi Chukwumerije
BADLY
I‘m hurting so badly It’s driving me mad And making me sad I’ll take the bend gladly. Che Chidi Chukwumerije
OPENING UP
My heart was broken
Over and over and over again by life
Until I was sure
That life really loves me
Or else it wouldn’t keep on opening me.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije
PAIN LIKE A STREAM
Like a stream runs this ancient heart of mine. I write truest and best when I am in pain and all alone; this is when I write down tomorrow’s pieces. Not when I am happy and relaxed; lazy, immature me.
When I have comfort, I forget, I become complacent. When there is peace, I laugh, which is good, but I also fall asleep, which is dangerous and wrong.
Maybe two thousand years from now I will be mature enough to be happy and be inwardly mobile simultaneously –
Pending this day, however, pain will be the helper of the Poet and of the wanderer. Pain and love and longing. To Keep me awake, to drive me onwards…
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
NATURE OR PROPENSITY
For people who, by nature, are partner-faithful and relationship-loyal (I’m talking Sex here), there exists in their inside a great big Why when they observe how a person who they know really loves his/her partner with all his/her heart can have a sexual interchange with a third party – one time, or for a shorter or longer period, or intermittently – and yet remain totally committed to and in love with their chosen “permanent” partner. Is it a predisposition or a weakness?
It’s like a puzzle, a mystery that defies solution.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije 