That blossom
That let go of the tree
And fell to earth
Is forgiveness
That recognition
That pain was the unavoidable teacher
Is forgiveness
That cleansing tear
Is forgiveness.
But I never want to see you again.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
pain
MASKING PRIDE
What’s behind the veil?
Nothing. The veil is your face
I don’t need a mask
My face masks my thoughts
The reason why I don’t hide things
Is because the best hiding places
Are out there in the open
That’s why you don’t see it
You don’t believe the things I tell you
Because I tell them to you
But if I were to hold them back
You would start to look for them in my Silence
And you would look and look
Until you became a prisoner of my Silence
So why don’t you appreciate it
When I just tell you in plain simple words
That I love you?
I killed you when I took off your mask
Now you want to kill me, by putting
A new different one back on.
But I already saw the girl within
Hidden deeper than shame and sin
Struggling with the pain within
And Pride is her middle name.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
BUT YOUR HEART WILL FIND ITS PLACE OF PEACE
Where are we rushing to?
Death is waiting at the end anyway
Go there slowly
Enjoy the ride
Take long looks out of the window
Drink in the sunshine
Drown the moon in your soul and laugh
Out loud
Let the passing flower and
The passing cloud leave an impression
Upon your memory.
Pain is our ally when we look for love.
Remember, you will make mistakes
You will hurt the people you love
And they will hurt you back
And Regret will not heal the wounds
Or make anything better
Only worse
But your heart will find its place of peace
Someday
Somewhere
Somehow
Because I love you.
Even when I’m dying, still I love you to the end.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
TAKE HER ACHING
I met a girl in the dark
I’m hurt, she said, hurt me
You’re singing in riddles, I said
She shook her head intensely
Her eyes were full of things she could not say
I’m in pain, she moaned, give me more
Crooked words lead straight to truth
Those who love each other hurt each other
And die wanting each other, immortally.
– CHE CHIDI CHUKWUMERIJE.
THAI BOXING
Pain will take
The pain away
Pain is medicine
When I’m in pain
Punishing shins
Slowing me down
Punish me, shins
The way is shorter
When the hurt is hurter
Pain is pain’s
Brutal painkiller.
– CHE CHIDI CHUKWUMERIJE.
SELF-RECONCILIATION
It took a long time
For pain
To come back home
I had forgotten
All about it
I was not prepared
But like a thief
Stealthily it crept up
On me, oh my soul
Like a thief
Yes it stole its way
Back into my soul
I’m strong because I’m weak
I hurt because I seek
I’m not a loner, I’m lost
I did not break – because I believed
I’m broken – because I believed
I’m woken, I’m empty
All that’s left is just me
Asking me to look at me
Take good care of me
Look at me
Get to know me
For the first time in my life.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
EARTHING
She loves pain
To feel it I mean
Like earth loves rain
To feel it she says
Hurt me before you love me
Hurt me if you love me
Pain is my mantle
Break it open to reach me
Light my candle
Read my signals I’m screaming
Half her lovers think she’s joking
Until she ups and walks away
The other half keep her running
Round and round in circles
Seeking silence.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
SECRETS AND MATURITY
The trauma of her upbringing
Shook her soul awake
Like a rough wind in a sudden spring
Rids bare branches of snow and brake
With a shock, with a shock, she thawed stood
A girl with the wisdom of womanhood.
What secrets does she hide inside
Behind her smile, behind her mask?
Her classmates many times have tried
But somehow just not dared to ask.
Whatever their sorrows, she holds their hands
And all can sense that she understands.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
I HEARD A SOFT CRY IN THE NIGHT
I heard a soft cry in the night
And knew not where it came from
Through the open window
It floated in on a warm summer’s night
Just one cry, soft and intense
And short it shuddered the night
Like a single pulse of night’s heartbeat
Swallowed up in echoless suspense
I knew not if it was a cry of pain
A cry for help, of fear or of liberty
Or if it was a cry of crowned ecstasy
Of one in pleasure and passion lain
It spoke of terror and sang of delight
A mystery that revealed neither where nor why
All I knew was that it was the soft cry
Of some woman’s voice in the night.
– CHE CHIDI CHUKWUMERIJE.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije 