And then there she was, again.
– che chidi chukwumerije.
– che chidi chukwumerije.
How can that be?
All this intimacy
And still not happy
All these people
All these hearts
And still so lonely
All these words
All these conversations
And your life still has no meaning
When you’re not with the one you really need
And all that sex
Is just the expression
Of unhappiness.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
Ashes to ashes…
Dust to dust…
Spirit to spirit…
Have mercy, o Holy Ghost!

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
Another anniversary of the day I beheld for the last time the noble countenance of my father. Then we closed the coffin and confered his cloak into the warm arms of Mother Earth. And set the spirt free for the Flight back Home. Always in my fondest Memories, Daddy dear… 22.5….
(Pic: my first day in Boarding School, Sep 1995 – King’s College. Lagos)
Dennoch musst Du den Kopf hoch heben, oder gerade deshalb. Nur eine Option wird Dir überlassen: stark sein.
… Dich nicht definieren zu lassen von der fremden Gruppe, dessen andersartiger ergänzung-bringender Teil Du schicksal-gesteuert geworden bist, sondern Dein höchstes Menschenrecht in Anspruch zu nehmen – das Recht auf eigenständiges Denken – und die Freiheit experimentierend und suchend durch das Leben zu gehen, auf der Suche nach der neuen Menschheit, vor allem in Dir selbst – …
… Dir nicht klischeehafte Rollen geben zu lassen, sondern das eigene Wirken selbst suchend zu entfalten – …
… ist die größte Sünde, die Du begehen kannst, und wirst dafür den höchsten Preis bezahlen. Trotzdem lohnt es sich, diesen Weg zu gehen, denn das Menschsein – Dein Menschsein – ist unbezahlbar.
Kein nutzbringendes Teil tut es vielleicht aus dem Grunde weil es ihm leicht gemacht wird; sondern weil es einfach nicht anders kann, als seine Umgebung zu prägen und mitzugestalten. Das ist die Eigenart eines lebendigen Menschengeistes.
Weder Politik, noch Sport, noch Ausschweifungen, noch soziale Angelegenheiten, noch Liebesbeziehungen, noch Familie, noch Geld anhäufen, noch Trägheit, noch so viel mehr, wird Dir reichen oder den Hunger in Dir nach der Frage stillen: Was bin ich?
Und Du wirst suchen – in der Fremde und auf heimatlichem Boden – nach Etwas, das tief in Dir selbst schlummernd liegt.
Entfalte Dich, Mensch. Kokon und Schmetterling.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
1. TENSIONS
What holds a society together?
This question crosses my mind a lot in these times of terror threats and terror attacks, religious fanaticism, right-wing political extremism, left-wing reactionism, fear, reflection, polarization, racism, nationalism, migration, integration, refugeeism, falling wages, widening circles of poverty, animosities, dual nationalities, multi-national companies, cross-cultural love affairs, mixed children and mixed heritages, highspeed long-distance travel, nuclear tests and missile launches, global ease of communication, internet battles between love and hate, and all the rest of that stuff.
Being a part of the German society, the many observations I make everyday trigger intense bouts of reflection and thought within me. These observations are made in the private sphere, at work and in the public domain. While taking in and analysing the news – the content and selection, the context, pattern and nature of the news – over the radio or on TV and while following events on the internet. While interacting with other citizens in sports arenas, on the public transport, in parks and clubs, at the playground, in restaurants and during private events. While playing the requisite roles on the corporate theatre and being politically correct. And simply while living.
It’s hard to miss the tension that exists between those who, genealogically, have for hundreds of years fallen into the category of that which was traditionally labelled ‘German’ or ‘European’ or of such descent, and those who, by appearance, betray some other culturo-geneological descent, in part or in whole. Going deeper, it is fairly easy to feel the palpable front-lines of ancient cultural conflicts, old racial tensions and, above all, very deeply felt religious differences, a clash of political ideologies that seem mutually exclusive. Certain social scientists, broadening the spectrum, may even choose to point out that front-lines also exist in the realm of opposite genders and opposing sexual orientations and indeed even in the age-old question of age differences. By their thesis, the human being it would seem is simply a creature of division and conflict along lines and within groups of perceived primary homogeneity.
2. WHAT IS HOME?
The world appears to be changing faster than our world views, and our self-images, and our capacity to adapt in thought, in action or emotionally seem able to keep or catch up with. Fundamentally the core question to which the times seem to be driving us is the simple puzzle: “What is Home?” To what extent can differentiation within a society go without tearing it apart? The issue of ‘mutual incompatibility’ is a concept that occupies many thinking minds within the context of possible lasting damage to a societal unit. On the other hand, the sense of belonging, of having a stake in preserving the present and future welfare of the nation and the national community of which one feels oneself to be a part creates a feeling of oneness, a binding force, a desire to act beneficially in the cause of the society, that informs the unchanging root intuition in good and bad times.
So, for a German citizen, like myself, the question becomes: what is the root intuition that must guide the sense of connection and bonding between a citizen and the nation in order for the citizen to be an authentic bearer of the nation within himself? In other words, what makes me or anyone a German? Is it the language, the passport, a sentiment, an ideology? Is it the colour, the genealogical inheritance, both of which I lack? Is it a ‘way’ of doing things, of seeing things, of feeling things? What is the difference between those who want to keep it the way it is or was, according to their perception, and those who want to change it? And, for those who want to change it: Along what lines do they want to change it? These are terse fields of even if unspoken conflict, and they stir deep passions, especially in these days of the re-solidifying in large numbers of a political machinery of minds that seems to want to define Germanhood solely in terms that exclude anything not of ancient aryan or germanistic culture in its primordial origin.
However, as with everything to do with elementary outworkings of our Humanness, the answer cannot be derived within the drawn borders of the issue at stake alone, because some qualities are neither African nor Asian, nor White nor Red, but are simply basic attributes of human nature and human character, intermittently spotted across history in different peoples at different times to various degrees of expression. However, at various points in time in the seemingly never-ending process of development, groups of people begin to congeal around similar thoughts and characteristics, in the face of similar challenges and experiences, assuming linked group identities. And Nations take shape. The shape-taking never ends, as history attests to, and the global forces at play today put particular, in the entirety of its effects yet unknown, pressures on the process of identity-seeking of nations in the future.
And for the answer to this question – what makes me a German? – there is no logical intellectual formulation of requirements that can express something that exists deep within the soul. The very fact that in order to make this brief literary excursion into reflection, I availed myself of the distance and perspective offered by a foreign language, touches on the Heisenberg-like puzzle that is embedded in any personal attempt at national self-reflection of this nature.
3. A COMMON GROUND
When a society has many living parts, and the parts are not only different each from the others, but indeed stand sometimes in stark contrast to one another, what then is the binding element that holds that society together in a way that brings it together to keep it together, to preserve and protect it, to press forward towards its development in a way that respects human life and human rights and furthers human feeling of belonging and sense of justice?
Ultimately, Nations must rise all to the minimum standard as a basis of nation-building whereby the progress of one nation cannot be tied to the detriment of another. This applies, by extension, also to philosophies and ideologies. This then frees the conscience of every earth-citizen from the potential clash of interests that arises from the question: “In a war, which side do you take, if you have multiple nationalities, or married ideologies, or a deep love for both sides?” Because the only humanity that will avoid self-destruction is one in which the minimum ethical standards of nation-building are above the baselines of the selfish interests and extremist ideological deformities that have birthed our wars. That will then be the true era and definition of the United Nations. Nations that are truly united.
This is thus for me the engine room working within the heart of my Germany. It is an ideal that came to light with the transformation that took place after and as a reaction to the Third Reich. It is an idea that there must be a Basic Law that brings out, protects and furthers the best in us, while simultaneously working against the arising and strengthening of that which birthed the evil monstrosity of the past, in whatever form it tries to cloak itself in the future. It is the awareness that a search for this middle line is a pressing duty for a Nation that wants to ensure that humanity does not go extinct within it, but thrives and pushes towards higher levels of inner and outer development. It is a thrust to travel the harder path – that of applying intelligence in the service of the upbuilding of human capabilities, the liberation of human potentials locked within. Nothing is more fulfilling too for a nation, for a people and for each individual.
No nation and no people on Earth today, politically, intellectually and socially, carries within its soul DNA and its ideological database and its collective cultural memory a greater antidote to the poison of destructive nationalism, self-propagandization and xenophobia than the Germans do. No nation can, and no nation should. No nation has a greater potential to find the answer to how to ensure a balance between, on the one hand the integrity of national identity, cultural heritage and spiritual beliefs; and on the other hand the unending movement and transformation of society, inwardly and outwardly, that continuously takes place in human history on Earth; than just the Germans do. In this regard, Germany has the capacity to lead mankind, by how it resolves the puzzle. We live in times that bring new – or old – responses and solutions to life’s questions.
Be it Arminius and the Romans, be it Bonifacius and the conversions, be it Karl the Great and Widuking, be it Rotbart and the Crusades, be it Martin Luther and the reformation, be it the bringing of innumerable fiefdoms into one German Kingdom, be it the refereeing of the Scramble for Africa, be it the first or the second World War, be it a peaceful split and a peaceful reunification, be it the Euro, the EU, or now the unprecedented displacement and resettlement of peoples, somehow ever and again Germany seems to be thrust – or to thrust herself – into the midst of some of the most incisive shifts in human history. And in every generation, in every constellation and constitution, those who are a part of it, feel very passionate about it. There is always a sense of making history.
4. NATIONS AS INCUBATORS
Every nation eventually is an Incubator of SOMETHING. For me, that is the definition of Nation – Incubation. What do you, as a nation, by your nature and direction, willy-nilly foster and incubate? What is it that must rise to birth and being as a consequence of your internally lived national character?
It is along these lines that every thinking person defines, or should define, for himself his relationship with the society to which he or she inwardly feels himself or herself to be a living part. What am I taking part in preserving or creating?
5. THE BINDING FORCE
Because somewhere down the line, there is only one thing that holds a society together, in times of change and transformation, of movement and uncertainty, of upheavals and tension. It is something stored in the hearts of those who are the parts of that society, who ARE that society. It is the one unifying thing, the point at which every concerned member of that society, no matter how different they each are, all become similar, united in that one intuition. There is one thing they all feel for that society, and it is the one thing that keeps that society together. One simple thing: LOVE.
It is Love that holds a society together – the love the people all individually feel for their society.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
Kann man ohne politisch zu sein trotzdem den Zeitgeist treffen, spiegeln, sogar beleben, treiben, lenken? Kann man in seinen Handlungen, auch wenn sie weder politisch noch politisch-motiviert sind, Lösungen entsprechen, die jenseits der Findungsmöglichkeit aller formellen und informellen politischen Bestreben liegen?
Das politische und politisierte Ausleben vom individuellen und Gruppen-Innenleben, so scheinbar unvermeidbar und wichtig es ist – … manchmal kommt mir vor, als fahren wir im grossen Kreis von Generation zu Generation und nennen es Fortschritt. Wir haben jedoch irgendwo drinnen in jedem von uns auch ein nicht-politisches Teil. Wir spüren es, fühlen uns aber unsicher darüber, wie und in wie weit wir es zur Geltung kommen lassen dürfen oder können. Denn die politisch-gepolten Stimmen raten uns stets davor ab. Irgendwann wissen wir dann gar nicht mehr, wie das geht.
Als ich im Internat in Lagos war, von ’85 – ’91, hatten wir Mitschüler, Muslime, aus dem fernen nigerianischen Norden. Am Anfang waren wir alle 11-jährige Kinder. Doch als wir 16, 17, wurden, in den letzten Jahren, Monaten und Semestern vor dem Schulabschluss, spürte man es. Einige von ihnen wurden irgendwann in den Ferien anders, glaubensgerecht, sozialisiert, grenzten sich unmerklich bei aller Freundlichkeit ab, sprachen häufiger mit einander in ihrer Sprache, beteten ernsthafter, reagierten empfindlich auf religiöse Themen; ‘wussten’, wer sie sind. Manche sagten trocken, sie mussten sich ja vor den ‘wiedergeborenen’ Christen Stand halten. Die Wiedergeborenen, die Born-agains. Einst waren auch sie sorgenfreie Schulkinder. Jetzt treffen sie sich abends, reden laut in Zungen und verteilen Plätze in Himmel.
Irgendwann, irgendwo, irgendwie, aus welchem Grund auch immer, wird alles politisch – Religion, Ethnie, Nationalität, Alter, Geschlecht, Ideologie, Sexualität, Bildung, ‘Rasse’, Klassengeist, Gesellschaftswesen, Gesundheitsstand, selbst Sport und Freizeitaktivitäten. Auch dann wenn es sich nicht als politische Parteien ausdrückt – denn das tut es selten. Irgendwann wird trotzdem alles zur Politik oder zum Spielball der Politik.
Da die Politik historisch mit dem Erstehen des Staatswesens oder der Gruppenbildung – welches wiederum im Zusammenhang mit Kriegsführung oder Überlebenskampf und Ausdehnungsbestreben sich bildete – ihre Seele fand, wird sie leider vermutlich immer untrennbar von Auseinandersetzungen sein. Wahrscheinlich aus diesem Grund der Versuch der Relativierung durch die Trennung in ‘gute’ und ‘schlechte’ Politik, die je nach macht-habende oder macht-anstrebende Ideologie stets anders definiert wird. Der Mensch, es wird häufig behauptet, ist einfach und grundsätzlich ein politisches Tier.
Doch in dem Augenblick, wo das System zu überhitzen oder zu überkochen droht und alles außer Kontrolle gerät, da spaltet sich die Menschheit bei den entscheidenden Lebensfragen in zwei grundunterschiedlichen Gruppen. – Die eine grabt sich noch tiefer in sein politisches Wesen hinein, greift nach dem Urgefühl seines sozio-politischen oder politico-ideologischen Verstandes zurück und sucht dadrin Halt, Schutz und Orientierung.
Die andere befreit sich Licht suchend von allen Deutungen, Hetzereien und Debatten und tastet wieder nach dem Funke der eigenen nicht-politischen Inneren Stimme, nach seinem eigenen freien und unbeeinflussten Menschengeiste.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
Internet battle
Between love and hate
Some call it war
Some call it debate
Some say it’s better to shoot words
Than bullets and bombs
Some say it is because of these words
That bullets and bombs come
Humankind has long yearned
To meet all humankind
Now we’re all on the same page
But still not of one mind
The war that is brewing
Wherever it takes place
You will be caught in the web
And it will be in your face.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
Da ich selten marschiere
Und mit marschiere
Da ich selten koaliere
Frage ich mich…
Da ich alles sehe und alles höre
Doch wenn ich den Mund aufmache
Über ganz andere Dinge rede, als die heißen Themen
Frage ich mich…
Von welchem Planeten komme ich?
Auf welchem Stern lebe ich?
Was hat mich anders programmiert?
Denn oft verstehe ich nicht
Wieso alle in eine bestimmte Richtung laufen
Während hier doch vor meinen Füßen
Ein andrer Pfad mich dorthin führt
Wo die neue Welt geboren wird.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
Dieses Herz
Hart bangend
Denn sie gucken mich doch alle
So komisch an
Die Blicke sind dunkler
Ich schwöre es
Diese Gedanken
Sie fallen mir ein, nein
Überfallen mich
Denn ich bin ja Nährboden
Fremder Gedanken –
Ich bin Dichter…
Du kannst mich nicht retten
Niemand kann, vergiß es
Liebe mich einfach
Liebe mich tief, bedingungslos, wild, hemmungslos
Ganz tabulos…
Du lügst, ich habe keine Panikattacken
Ich will nur lieben
Und geliebt werden, atemlos.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
When you already have
What you’re looking for
What are you still looking for?
What are you still living for?
Some live to find – when they find
Their life finds meaning
Some live to seek – when they find
Their life loses meaning
They must seek a new meaning
To their lives
To appreciate what you already have
To cherish it, to nourish it, to
Protect it, maintain it, value it and
Valorise it
Make something more out of something less.
Sometimes there is nothing better
Out there.
– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.