Hard words are sometimes the kindest Foraging eyes are sometimes the blindest Life’s help is sometimes to put you to the test It pushes you to move when you long to rest I’ve never wanted something so badly before I’ve never eaten to my fill and still wanted some more I’ve never said goodbye and continued to feel so sore I’ve never been so trapped before in a folklore So many new things starting at the same time Be patient when you’re looking for the right rhyme Little doses of salt and pepper, curry and thyme Life is sometimes a little sugar, sometimes a little lime I love like Haily’s comet, ever and again I come again Laughter fills my heart again and conquers the pain I can’t explain it, I am a lake and I am the rain And so are you, and every end is just another refrain. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
Of Inner States
THE MOST VULNERABLE THING
The most vulnerable thing in this world is to open up to a person, to show the person your secrets and your true condition. To share with the person your dreams, your hopes, your fears, your phobia, your trauma, your beliefs, your feelings, your propensities, your weaknesses, your childlikeness, your unprotected true nature.
When you have thus exposed yourself to a person, vulnerable to the core, and the person – after taking a good look at you – rejects or betrays you, and directly or indirectly communicates to you that they find you to be unworthy of them, the damage that this experience can cause to a human soul is almost beyond the purview of what words can accurately describe. It is exceedingly humiliating, dehumanising, and robs you of your sense of self-worth.
It also gives reason to ask yourself, if you too have ever done the same to another human being, maybe even without realising it, and maybe you have even forgotten it. If you have, then it pays to reflect on how to reach those people once more and offer them correction, retribution, a cure, or just true heartfelt apology and remorse for having broken their soul.
Most of all, though, it gives us an opportunity to reflect on the question of whether a human being’s sense of self-worth should at all be wholly or partly dependent on how they are seen or held or treated by another human being, probably one whom they love, or sometimes even a stranger. Or whether a human being’s sense of worth should be rooted only and solely in their own inner strength and inner dignity and Inner fidelity to their own core values. Or if it is a mixture of both extremes.
One thing is for sure, though, and that is that no matter how we see it, the reality is that even the strongest people are affected by how they are seen and treating by one person or the other, consciously or unconsciously, either a stranger or more commonly someone that they deeply love. No matter how we see it, we owe the duty to ourselves as human beings to be thoughtful, careful, honest – honest to ourselves and also honest to others – in order not to disappoint a valid expectation of reflected worthiness.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
REBIRTH OF HAPPINESS
I found Happiness in my heart. It came out of the Blues, I don’t know where from, just at that moment and in that phase when I was experiencing the deepest betrayal and the most excruciating pain. I embraced the pain and decided to let it carry out its mission within me. I only made one promise to myself, I would not let it kill me.
One morning, when I was at my lowest, I called out to Happiness and begged it to come to me, swore to myself that I would find it. I knew it heard me, I felt it in the message it sent to me, like a vibration that touched my heart and awakened Hope. But the pain stayed, it did not go away immediately. Instead, it intensified and seemed to make one last grand grab at my Soul and my inner life, to kill me inwardly at last and for good.
I struggled, stumbled, but kept on walking, full of pain. And then, just as suddenly as this sentence follows on the last one, out of the Blues, in the middle of work and mundane daily chores, just when I was not looking or paying attention… Happiness suddenly showed up in my heart, like a Hero, like Sunrise, like a gift from God, like a warrior of Light.
Happiness is a strange thing, it lifts you high on wings of lightness, fills your heart with buoyancy, and makes you… Happy.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
DON’T RUN
I don’t run from the pain. I hold it inside until it hurts no more. That’s how I deal with it. Time is irrelevant, because time stands still. Only experiencing, internalisation, transformation and growth are important. And once those have taken place, the aching melts, the pain stops hurting, drops off and goes away – but not before giving me all its energy and all its wisdom; and awakening in me the capacity to take in bigger worlds tomorrow, and the Newness to love again another day. But above all, it reboots my spirit and re-ignites in me the Childlikeness to one day trust again with a healed heart. But with more circumspection and attention to detail next time.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
NOBODY IS SOMEBODY
If I wasn’t a writer and a musician, I would not have a social media presence. I would be silent, invisible to the world, and nobody would know my thoughts or my feelings, nobody would know the peace deep within my heart, and the storms and wars that interrupt it every once in a while and then slide back again into the Peace. Only the people close to me and the people I meet at work would even know that I exist. And I would be so happy. Nobody would hear the silence in my heart. Because the best kind of somebody is nobody.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
PEOPLE NEVER COME BACK
People never come back They move on to the new you Or to their new perception of you With or without you And you move on to the new them Or to your new perception of them With or without them But the old will never come back. Tomorrow will come. Those who try to cling on to the past Lose their way and orientation very fast Because Time never goes back. Those who meet again do so in the future As different people with a different Nature Because only going forward takes you back Home. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
LICENCE TO LAUGH
Learn to bear your pain in aloneness, But don’t bear your aloneness in pain. Aloneness should bring relief from stress, Should help you inner peace to attain. Being alone with your sorrow is sad; Share your aloneness instead with your gladness. Seclusion allows the Healing Power of GOD to save you from overstimulation and madness. And you will be born anew in silence, For aloneness is the mother of transformation. And joy shall be your portion and your licence To laugh again, in you a flame of Devotion. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
THE VAST DISTANCE
The deepest form of intimacy is the sharing of truth. Sex is not the highest form of intimacy - Honesty is. No sleuth can penetrate a false heart of lies. No compass can navigate the vast distance opened up by lies that keeps hearts separate. This distance cannot be closed by vicinity - This distance can only be closed by veracity. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
THROUGH HONESTY
Don’t be ashamed Pour it all out The heart is tamed and freed from doubt by the bravery of honesty. Let those that hurt you continue to mock you It still cannot stop you from healing through honesty and growing through adversity. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
MAY YOU
May you grow Like the flowers you love so much May you sow Seeds of fruits that nourish as such May you glow Under the purity of a true lover’s touch May you know Honesty to which you can safely clutch. Che Chidi Chukwumerije Poems from the inner river
Che Chidi Chukwumerije 