ON MY FUNERAL DAY

THE MOURNERS came, with lots of noise and tears, crying their dry eyes out. No one stopped them. They were left to wail and weep, even though they made all that din.

And the merry-makers, theirs was even more dramatic, their lives are simple, they simply make merry. It does not matter the occasion which has brought them together. Their occupation is to sing and be happy, that is their job, their life. In large numbers they came out to lighten up the place, all three categories of them – the clowns, the eaters and the musicians – merrymaking from dawn until everyone else is gone.

And then of course my old friends, drawn out of the distant mists of childhood, reappeared with appropriately long faces. They murmured here and there about a few breaches of tradition but generally they held their peace. Rice and stew were very plenty, palm wine flowed as if the very trees wept, drowning their complaints in their throats; they left everybody alone and except for their ponderous thoughts nobody remembered their presence.

Two T.V. reporters with their camera men, a few newspaper journalists, a couple of ministers and princes, a former president, a galaxy of celebrities, a throng of socialites and a pride of leaders. Soon the whole place was turned from a place of solemn silence to something like the setting for a television talk-show. Who was going to be interviewed? The departed spirit? I chuckled; good that no-one heard me.

The few people who knew me well wondered at all the noise, all the crowd. Could I, who had so dearly nourished simplicity and quiet while still alive, have really wished my departure to trigger this breach of it? They tried to voice their discontent, but my relatives silenced them with the counter-claim that I had always said that everyone was allowed to do as they wished, and so they did not feel it right to disobey my injunction upon my departure.

Clergy of different religions dragged the aura of their history into my home and solemnly spewed prayers into the air, while everyone closed their eyes and kept on chewing their food. And the liars. They were everywhere, telling lies. The gamblers were gambling. The drunkards were drinking. And the lies the liars told were shattering to the core, for the liars had once been my friends.

But, with love, with compassion, my eyes did rest on one or two visitors in whose heart I saw pain at my departure, in whose eyes I saw the glittering pearls of true tears ever and again wiped away with a sigh. I was sad for them, I wished they could feel the touch of my hand on their shoulder, hear my voice as I whispered to them, I’m still alive.

But what can you do? Each person will react in his own wto death, the victor. Each, according to his or her nature, will bring their character to the fore upon your departure and, symphony or cacophony, there is nothing you can do about it, not anymore.

And so I did not stay there long. I had known it would be like this – who doesn’t? And I had made her promise, she who I loved, who I love, promise me, yes I had made her promise me that she would take my body away, far away. And far away, in the heart of the beautiful woods, she and the children we bore, now adults, and our closest closest friends, they stood in a circle around my body. And though they did not see me, they sensed me, sensed that I was there, standing too in the circle with them, our unbroken circle of love. Far away from the noise and noisy thoughts of the world.

One of them played a flute, and the flute was enough, and spoke the language of our hearts; and every thought they thought of me was a thought of love, and my soul was full. And my spirit sang.

And soon the body, old and tired, rested deep in the cool depth of mother earth. There was a prayer my love was praying, and that was when I heard it, the other flute, the heavenly flute, it came from far away, from high high above, gripped my heart, and I saw the way home. At that moment her eyes opened and her love held me one more time, then with a gentle whimsical sigh she let me go.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.y

FAINTHEARTEDNESS

There is a time, a moment
To say yes –
You feel it, you know it, you just
Have to say it

Yet you drown it in conversation
Puncture it with rhetoric
Hang a cloud of Why over it
Betray it with a question mark, and then fall silent

There is a time, a moment to
Say yes – only the brave
Will grasp it. The fainthearted
Will run away into a familiar point of view

Every meeting is a thing of beauty
Everything that confuses you and
Throws you off-balance is a gift from life
Knocking on the door of a greater you.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

WHAT REALLY MATTERS

Have you ever wondered if all the great deeds of nation builders also secured them a mansion in God’s House? Have you ever wondered if all the brave deeds of freedom fighters also helped them in the battle against the darkness in the Beyond? Have you ever wondered if all the profound thoughts of thinkers also showed them the way upwards once they crossed over into the other side? You see, I am one of those people who DO believe in life after death. The question is: Of everything we do while here on earth, which of them really make any difference to what happens on the other side? And then my thoughts go to the little acts of kindness and love that soften the harsh human day and brighten the dark night of inner loneliness. And something tells me that this alone will show the way when one day your feet are lost in another world.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

SELF-ACCEPTANCE

My whole life has been a long series of attempts to destroy my unworthy self. Only after I succeeded, did I realise what I had lost.

Love yourself. Yourself is not just ALL you have, it is WHAT you are. There is nothing else you can ever be. Don’t waste your life. You become better by growth, not by psychological self-mutilation.

Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

BUT YOUR HEART WILL FIND ITS PLACE OF PEACE

Where are we rushing to?
Death is waiting at the end anyway
Go there slowly
Enjoy the ride
Take long looks out of the window
Drink in the sunshine
Drown the moon in your soul and laugh
Out loud
Let the passing flower and
The passing cloud leave an impression
Upon your memory.
Pain is our ally when we look for love.

Remember, you will make mistakes
You will hurt the people you love
And they will hurt you back
And Regret will not heal the wounds
Or make anything better
Only worse
But your heart will find its place of peace
Someday
Somewhere
Somehow
Because I love you.
Even when I’m dying, still I love you to the end.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

GENERATIONS

A lonely sunset bird walked home
We watched him go
Then we strolled until we came to the field
The empty field
The barren field

There the old man stopped and pointed
It used to be a forest once
We felled the trees, to make of it a garden
But someone forgot to plant the seeds
The rains, they came in vain

Washed away
And now the sun burns away –
And as we strolled away again he said
That field is another wasted generation
That fruitless field.

– CHE CHIDI CHUKWUMERIJE.

LIFE IS A BURDEN MADE LIGHT

Life is a burden made light
By the weight of sacrifice
Your life is useless unless used to the full
For something meaningful and useful.

Self is heavy, selflessness is light
The battle is painless for them that fight
The volunteer’s prize is dignity
Freedom is not for free.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.
from THE BEAUTIFUL ONES HAVE BEEN BORN
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NEW ROADS

How maddening it must be
Upon reincarnation to see
The fullness of your memory
In all its grime and glory –

Take it away, take it away
I don’t want to know today
The sadness and joy of yesterday
With my heart let me find my way

I fell in love, in love anew
With dawn and dusk, with dream and dew
With life and love, through vice and virtue
Another me, another you.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

WHAT IS MUSIC?

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I do not know
What music is…
But I do know that
But for my love for music
I would be dead.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.

ALL OF IT

Bear with grace
Life’s every face
Truth is a buffet
Conscience is selective
I guess everyone is right
According to taste

You’ll always be someone else
To someone else
But the sum of your contradictions
Contradicts each one of them –
But bear with grace
Every face, life’s every phase.

– Che Chidi Chukwumerije.