Sometimes you are just not someone’s type. They might be attracted to you for a while, curious about you, interested in you, be entertained by you. But in the end they will betray you or leave you, because deep within their heart you are actually not their type or what they’re looking for.
And there are two types of them. Those that will tell you honestly up front. And those who won’t.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
When intimacy does not satisfy, then integrity, dignity and honesty need to climb into bed with you. Because intimacy alone will not make you feel at home, safe and fulfilled. Only honesty will do that. Reciprocal honesty and truth – the soul of trust and integrity, the pillars of respect and dignity.
Stay with people that respect you enough to tell you always the truth,no matter what that truth is – those that honour you with their honesty. Honesty is an expression of trust and of respect, and of love.
But the heart, oh the heart is treacherous. It will go where it knows it’s not wanted, where it knows it’s not respected, where it knows it is not valued or respected, where it knows it is not really loved in return. For some strange reason the heart will long for the person that will abuse it, lie to it, break it and cause it pain. And no matter how much you try to hold the heart back from the path of punishment, it will insist and it will go there, like a masochist. And it will not be satisfied until it has been broken open.
Because the heart longs for nothing more than to be opened again. Open Sesame. To experience from the depth of its core. And to grow. The heart wants to live and to feel alive. And once it has been opened by pain, then it does not need the pain or the pain-makers anymore. All it wants now is joy and light and love. The heart wants to be happy, from deep within.
And when the Heart has found happiness, it shuns Lies and dishonesty henceforth, and desires only truthfulness and the company of those with whom it can share Honesty, because honesty is the purest form of intimacy.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
Sometimes, many things you do you do it because you just don’t care. People think you do it, and do it that way, because you don’t know how to do it or you don’t know what to do.
They don’t know that you simply really just don’t care if it works or not, because it is not what you really want. You’re just doing it out of boredom and because it is available, and because you just have to do something to while away the time while you’re waiting for what you really want.
But that thing you really want, that thing you are waiting for, might never ever come.
So, why don’t you do well what you’re doing now; because in the end it might be the only thing you ever really got to do.
Love, put your heart into everything you do.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
My friends are more important to me than my lovers. Lovers betray you, at some level, but friends stay loyal. True friends. The best lovers are also friends. The best friends don’t have to be lovers, don’t need to be lovers, to mean the world to you. Friendship beats everything else. There are some people you can be lovers with, but not friends. The moment the love affair ends, the friendship collapses, because it was inwardly empty. It was only sex, carnal comfort and perhaps some degree of emotional connection, but without reciprocal Depth. No sex is worth the best friendship. Nothing beats a person you share your truth with and the truth is safe with them, and they share their truth with you and it is safe with you. Share is the operational word. Safe is the magic word. It is safeness and trust. Respect, honesty and genuineness.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
If it’s just the two of us, let it be just the two of us. Don’t believe what anyone from outside tells you.
If I open myself to you then, believe me, nobody knows me better than you do.
Trust your heart and trust me. The exclusive magic at the core of our love will see us through.
But if you fail to bring up the courage to believe, or if you yield to outside influence, you damage our super glue.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
A year passed by so quickly, like a whirlwind. The most important lesson I have learned: Value people who tell you the truth, for they are rare. Be sparing with your trust. And know that, unfortunately or fortunately, there is always something more to every story you hear. The exceptions to this rule are rare. So, become circumspect, even as you love harder. Because the harder you love, the deeper you go into the heart of truth and deception. The human heart is on earth to grow, and it grows only by intense and authentic experiencing of itself and of other hearts. So, open your heart to everything, but know this: “Everything” includes both the light and the dark, both the dependable and the treacherous, coming both from strangers as well as, even more so, from the people you trust.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
When a person just doesn’t know how to tell you the truth, they simply stick to the lie. From start to finish. Even if they want to tell you the truth, they don’t know how to, they don’t know where to start because the truth runs on a completely different storyline and separate lifestyle, opposite reality and parallel universe. It will hurt you deeply and completely overturn your view of life and of them. Or so the person thinks. But if only they would try you, to see a new person emerge and a new powerful authentic relationship form.
Starting with a lie is always a slippery slope, a rollercoaster ride. It is nervousness and heart palpitations from start to finish. It can be exciting and exhilarating, until it becomes human and personal. Then it becomes a chore, a nightmare, a heavy load, and a puzzling sphinx, a difficult riddle to solve. Tell the truth and shatter the other person’s reality? Or maintain the lie and allow it to eat you inside and gnaw at the other person’s gut instincts, and prevent both of you from ever forming a true bond? And yet, only the truth liberates.
There will be a humanity one day of honest human spirits who live, share and relate in the light of truth always and in all things. Deeply and simply. Inside and out. Individually and as a society. The most fundamental truth we owe ourselves as human beings is the truth of how we really are as a person. This is the basis of all relationships and of society and of a possibility to one day have a reflection of Paradise on Earth. A home away from Home.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
When we have been hurt once, we make the mistake of shielding our hearts from loving again or loving too deeply the next time. This is very wrong. This is allowing the darkness to win against the light. The right thing to do is the opposite. Love hard, hurt hard, stand up, heal, fall hard again and love even harder. Next time, love HARDER. The only thing that can heal a broken heart is complete re-immersion into the intensity of love. Only intense love can dispel the spectre of the fear of love. Because it touches the core of the spirit and makes it know it is alive.
The nature of intense love is that, if your heart gets broken, it takes a long time to fall out of it and to heal, once you have given your heart and your trust and your openness to someone. Depth does not permit superficiality. Intensity does not permit an easy withdrawal or a quick transition. If you love hard, moving on will be very hard. But once you’re gone, looking back or coming back will also be very hard, because you are also going to fall hard into the next one. True love is intense, because only intensity is satisfying and fulfilling. Intensity is an addictive drug.
And nothing is more intense than the intimacy of shared truthfulness. Not even sex is an intimate as the sharing of truth and trust. A person who cannot share their truth with you, or who you cannot share your truth with, is inwardly distant from you. You will never have an intense intimate relationship with this person. The bond with this person will not be deep and satisfying. The pains will not be deep, neither will the joys. Moving on for or from such a person will be quick and easy. But your emptiness will not be filled.
If you want your emptiness to be filled, you have to have the courage to open your heart and fall fully, give yourself fully, share deeply and honestly, and love hard. Love HARDER. It comes with the risk and certainty of pain, but also of the deepest joy and satisfaction possible. And, above all, it is one of the only few things on earth that can really change a human spirit and help it to mature and develop. Because it touches your core and makes you even more alive.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
Some people are full of lies. Once you see through them, they start running. Because their only true super power is their ability to lie and to cover up their lies. Once you have or develop the kryptonite to this power, they run away from you.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
Time is such a strange thing. We always forget how long it is. One day you will change and you will look back and ask yourself Why. Why did I do that? Why did I not do that? Why did I say that? Why did I not say that? Why. Was it really worth it?
If it was, you will know and you will be happy. If it wasn’t, you will know and you will be sad.
But only time will tell you what your heart is still too blind or too stubborn or too immature to see today.
Che Chidi Chukwumerije
Undulating Plains
Che Chidi Chukwumerije 